Well, unfortunately I caught my husband cheating last Thurs. Basically beginning of Nov he randomly out of the blue told me that he's not "in love" with me anymore and wants to do a separation in the hopes of trying to figure things out. We went through MC and for the last couple weeks my H decided to only do IC instead. We've been together for 7yrs, married for 5.5yrs, and have an 8month old.
Well I was doing some snooping on Thurs night when he wasn't home and discovered google chat message under a fake e-mail address on his computer to a woman. She sent him a picture in her sports bra and tight pants, he sent her a picture in his work out clothes. They've been together since Nov, but I don't know when it all actually started. This bastard actually spent the night with her in a hotel on my bday. My f**king bday for crying out loud. He's planning a vacation with her in 2wks. He told me that he had to go out of town for work.
I confronted him 2 nights ago. We had a 4hr conversation. We talked about the affair (although he didn't want to talk about it and didn't say much about it). We talked about how his childhood demons still effect him and that he needs help. He admitted that he's "f**ked up in the head". He justifies the affair by saying that he hasn't loved me for a long time and that he was open to receive love. He said that he didn't divorce or separate from me earlier because he felt pity for me and thought it would crush me and that I'm so dependent on him that he didn't want to do that which to me is total bull crap. I asked him why he wanted to go to MC with me then and he said that he was confused and thought maybe MC would help him realize he was making a mistake. A few weeks ago him and his ex wife had to put their dog down and he was devastated. He called me on his way home to talk almost in tears. I asked him during our convo why he called me. He said because I'm his frie nd and I'm the only person that he can be himself with without having to act. He said that he watches characters on tv and mimics his personality like that rather than showing people his real self because he has low self esteem and no confident. This all leads to his horrible childhood where his mother physically and emotionally abused him and threw him in and out of foster homes and group homes. He admitted that he doesn't make people (including me or his daughter) his priority because he will get hurt and never be truly loved. Oh and btw....he cheated on his ex-wife but lied to me and told me he didn't. His ex-wife told me that he did.
I filed for divorce yesterday and told him I was going to do so. Did I make the wrong decision?
Well I was doing some snooping on Thurs night when he wasn't home and discovered google chat message under a fake e-mail address on his computer to a woman. She sent him a picture in her sports bra and tight pants, he sent her a picture in his work out clothes. They've been together since Nov, but I don't know when it all actually started. This bastard actually spent the night with her in a hotel on my bday. My f**king bday for crying out loud. He's planning a vacation with her in 2wks. He told me that he had to go out of town for work.
I confronted him 2 nights ago. We had a 4hr conversation. We talked about the affair (although he didn't want to talk about it and didn't say much about it). We talked about how his childhood demons still effect him and that he needs help. He admitted that he's "f**ked up in the head". He justifies the affair by saying that he hasn't loved me for a long time and that he was open to receive love. He said that he didn't divorce or separate from me earlier because he felt pity for me and thought it would crush me and that I'm so dependent on him that he didn't want to do that which to me is total bull crap. I asked him why he wanted to go to MC with me then and he said that he was confused and thought maybe MC would help him realize he was making a mistake. A few weeks ago him and his ex wife had to put their dog down and he was devastated. He called me on his way home to talk almost in tears. I asked him during our convo why he called me. He said because I'm his frie nd and I'm the only person that he can be himself with without having to act. He said that he watches characters on tv and mimics his personality like that rather than showing people his real self because he has low self esteem and no confident. This all leads to his horrible childhood where his mother physically and emotionally abused him and threw him in and out of foster homes and group homes. He admitted that he doesn't make people (including me or his daughter) his priority because he will get hurt and never be truly loved. Oh and btw....he cheated on his ex-wife but lied to me and told me he didn't. His ex-wife told me that he did.
I filed for divorce yesterday and told him I was going to do so. Did I make the wrong decision?
Put the internet to work for you.
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