Recently married and it seems the "honeymoon" is already over

Hello This is a bit of a long and complex story, but I would greatly appreciate your feedback and advice. Here goes, I dated a man for 5 years and through out the 5 years we have had a rollarcoaster of a ride both up's and down's. It started out with my boyfriend being jobless, when I met him and he was living at home in his parents basement. This was a big problem for my family because he basically moved in to my apartment. He eventually after 2 years of being together and him living off of me he found a fast food job due to me threatening to leave him. He has worked there for 3 years now and shows little desire to look for other employment or career opportunities dispite his constant complaining about his job. I have suffered from mental illness my whole life, which includes, depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder, which is due to long term sexually abuse I endured as a child and as a teenager from a family member. My husband was my first real boyfriend and first sexual partner and he is now is my husband. I worked full-time to support us both while we was not working but, recenty just before our wedding I went off work brieflt and on un-employment insurance because of being on stress leave due to my mentaly health declining. Anyways, my partner early on in the relationship had alot of agression and anger issues he would often get violent and act scary but this seemed to go away over time, so I let it go. My family became alot more excepting of him once he became employed and have since gotten to know him alot better. One of the big problems in our relationship has always been lack of communication. He will not tell me how he feels or share his thoughts with me. I can talk for literally an hour about my emotions and concerns with our relationship and he always becomes non-repsonsive, he ignores me and gives me the silent treatment for hours, until I cry and start to feel angry. Healso lies alot, which has always been an issue. He is secretive about things for example, like looking at porn and when confronted he will look me in the face and lie, even when I tell him its okay and that I understand. He will make up an ellabrite stories on the spot, which seem almost effortless, to avoid having to tell me the truth. He doesnt seem to care when I cry and gets angry when I do. He always pretends to be sleeping or have fallen to sleep when I am crying or when I bring up issues. I have talk to him about my past with regards to my abuse and he has never showed any emotion or response. It has made our sex life difficult starting out with because he wasnt sensitive to my issues. Over time I have become more confortable being sexually adventerous in bed, but its always been difficult for me to fully enjoy it when the other person isnt being sensitive to my emotions or feelings. Another issue is he wont do something unless he wants to do it. There is no room for compromise with him, even when it comes down to silly things like which movie we will watch. I have so many life goals and dreams but he has none to speak of and seems to hold me back from pursuring mine. I keep telling him that we need to start thinking about careers we are in our late 20's he shows no desire or ambishion. I am finally starting to get mentally well again due to professional help but he is making it hard to fully get better. We got married 2 months ago and a little while before the wedding he starting acting really sweet and loving and almost over the top nice, I wondered at times if it was sincere. Now since the wedding he tells me he has had a "nervous breakdown." I dont really know or understand what that means. He wont be intimate with me in anyway anymore and rejects me sexually and pushes me away and acts cold and distant from me, He yells at me alot and is aggressive and wont talk about things with me. I asked him to seek professional help, but he refuses. He says the years of dealing with my mental health issues has worn him down and that he can't cope anymore. Everytime he is mean to me he says he is acting this way because of his nervous breakdown. I just dont understand why he would wait until after we got married to tell me this and why it seems like his personality has changed so much. He use to love having sex and being intimate now he wont. Before he would act caring and sweet towards me at times, now I have to "walk on egg shells" to avoid him yelling and swearing and acting aggressive towards me. I feel like, us getting married was a terrible idea, but I dont know if it is fixable at this point. I mean we have only been married 2 months and I already feel like running, this seems like a bad sign. When I asked him if he is happy in our marriage he says "yes" when I asked him if I am the only one who thinks we have issues, he j ust nodded his head yes in response. I lye awake every night since our wedding crying until the morning hits and he does nothing, but sleeps and then when he wakes up he pretends like it never happened. We use to go places and do fun things together, now he says hes too tired and shows no interest in leaving our apartment. He gets upset if I go out though to hang out with other people. He says he's depressed, but I dont understand how it happened so suddently. Before we got married he seemed fine and dandy its like now that were maried he figures he doesnt have to try anymore. He says things to me like "well your stuck with me now" and points to the rings on my finger, which makes me feel horrible inside. I tried talking to his family about the changes in his behavior, they don't seem to know what to do but they too have noticed a difference in him he doesnt want to spend time with them anymore and is isolating himself. They told him he should seek professional help, but he refused to. How can I make our marriage work if I am the only one willing to try? How can I fix things if he doesnt admit or think that there is a problem? I keep telling him the things that we need to work on, but he seems un-interested. Another thing that has bothered me is I was miss diagnosed with cancer a year ago and I called my fiance from the emergency to tell him because he refused to come to the ER with me that night when I was ill because he said he had to work the next day. I told him what the doctor said and he didnt respond. I asked him if he would come to the hospital to see me he said he was asked to work an extra shift at work that night and that he wanted the money. After he got off work instead of coming to see me right away he went to the library to rent some movies and books. When he got to the hospital instead of asking me how I was, he ppened his book bag and showed me all the stuff he had borrowed from the library. I asked him if he would stay over night with me and told hiim that because he was my fiance the nurse said it would be okay, he said he was too tired and went home. I lay awake all night that night in the ER wondering if he really loved me or not and wondered if I was over re acting and if this was perhaps his way of coping with this news. When I found out that I had been miss diagnosed and that my health problem was not life threatening he did not show any emotion or seem excited or happy. Which hurt me so much inside. He says the reason he has not gotten another job is because "we" need the stability, because of me being mentally ill and not always having stable employment. I understand what he means in a way, but I dont think this is a good enough reason to not have goals or at least look for other career opportunities. I have been employed for long periods of time during our relationshi and he still uses my mental health as an issues to not move forward career wise. When I asked him what his life goals are he always says "I dont know." All we do every day is he goes to work and then he comes home and is cranky immediately turns the tv on and he sits and watchs a movie of his choice every night until he falls a sleep and I cry myself to sleep. He never wants to go any where and when we do he is cranky and snaps at me and if I say "why are you acting so cranky towards me," he says "Im tired." Which makes the outing unenjoyable and not worth it to begin with. I really want to have kids and buy a house but he is not interested he says he doesnt want kids, but when I ask him why he says his famous line "I dont know" which is how he always respondes to any type of question I ask or he just stays silent. I told him we should save up for a house, but instead he spends money like crazy and is secretive about it. When we go to the bank he covers up the screen with his hand so I cant see the amount and money always seems to evaporate. My husband always use to like to drink alcohol, not excessively but he enjoyed it. Now that Im starting to drink, he says that he doesnt want to drink anymore, every again. I asked him why because it seemed odd, he replied," I dont know, I just dont." I didnt drink for most of our relationship because my father was an alcoholic and it brought bad memories for me and my husband always use to try to force me into drinking. He said it loosened me up and he always seemed to like to engage in sexual activity with me after drinking. I never liked the way he acted when under the influence of alcohol. It just seems weird to me that now that I am finally overcoming my fear of drinking that he says he does not want to drink every again. My sister said perhaps it is some type of control thing that he is doing but I hope that she is mistaken. I dont mind the fact that he does not drink I just think it seems odd and wonder if there is more to it then that meets the eye. I just want to knwo what others think... Am I the problem? Am I mkaing things worse? I am being to dramatic about these issues? Does this seem typical? Is there a way I can fix things? I keep wondering if its me and maybe im being to hard of him or holding onto things to much. I just want our marriage to work out, but I just dont know what to do to make him and I both happy. My husband says that he is in love with me, but if this is the case why doesnt it feel like that? HELP!!!

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