| Hi all, Totally new to the forum, I thought it was time I sought out some advice since sitting at home on my own with my own thoughts won't get me anywhere. Here's my dilemma : My boyfriend and I (currently living together for the last 4 months with 2 housemates) have been together for 4 years. Since we were 18. He is my first relationship. When we started dating, his ex suddenly came back into his life and I took control of it quickly by setting the two of them up to meet and sort things out before he and I were to get serious. In the end, he chose me and we continued our relationship. Fast track to a year into the relationship and I found that he was sexty texting another girl from work. I was upset, I punched him and we patched things up but of course, a fraction of my trust was broken. After this event we were going swimmingly for another few years until his ex (back when we started dating) suddenly reappeared! Thankfully they only ever spoke online but it made me incredibly uncomfortable that they spoke so much, so often and so deeply that I told him I couldn't accept it and it had to stop. Fast forward to a month ago and I find that while he did stop talking to her, he went looking for her online again and this time he : 1. Met her in secret on his birthday despite me asking upfront if he had plans with anyone. 2. Was sending sexy pictures and texts with her and told her she was his 'soul mate'. I packed what I could fit into my car, printed out the dirty photos of the girl for he and our housemates to see and left them with a letter saying "Thanks for wasting 4 years of my life". He went looking for me at my parents to apologise and when I asked him why he would hurt me again when I already lost trust in him, all he could say was "You weren't paying me any attention". The last 4 months I'd been studying full-time at 32 hours a week, NOT including what I had to take home and do in my spare time while working 40 hours a week. I asked for his patience while I finished the last few weeks of my course and I'd be done forever. I couldn't afford to give him any attention during this time. If I wasn't in my class I was at work, if I wasn't at work I was sleeping. I thought we'd be ok since we only just recently moved in together and prior to that we only saw each other on the weekends. Apparently not. We had a long chat about how we were both at fault and I asked if he even wanted to be with me because of everything he shared with his ex. I told him not to choose me just because I live nearby and she's 2 hours away. He said he was just using her to get attention and he knew how to get it out of her. He also wanted to keep talking to her because he has no other friends (he really doesnt). I felt sorry for him and said, "Fine, be 'friends' but no pictures, no pet names, no nothing! We keep our facebooks, phones and whatever open to eachother to see." He agreed and I moved back after a weekend away. It's been a month now and I have absolutely no trust in him. I've seen the texts they send and his ex gets bitchy if he doesn't text her everyday. He hasn't done anything that would break his promise but I have absolutely no faith in him anymore and it shits me that he has ALWAYS gone looking for this girl. I'm ready to throw in the towel. It's been 4 years, it's always been because of this girl. What say you? | |||
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