Alchoholic Husband Begging for a "Glimmer of Hope"

To make a long story short, I finally left my alcoholic husband around two months ago. If you've read my other posts you know that I have been struggling for years now living with this aggressive disease. My "rock bottom" was when my husband was arrested for menacing someone in my apartment building (I was not home at the time). When I did stop by the apartment I was shocked by its condition......tables turned and broken, sconces falling off the walls, light fixtures crashed into thousands of glass pieces....etc. And, it finally took a "truck to hit me" that I was living with a very dangerous person when he is drunk. So, I left! I have left before, but always returned after the well intentioned, but empty "promises". He was in a drunken stupor for about two weeks after this incident....so I didn't want or see the purpose of having any serious conversations with him....and I was in a state of major grief, because in my heart (but not yet my head), I knew this was the end. During the first 6 weeks of our separation, I "detached with love." I told him I needed to work on myself, get healthy, strong and I wished the same for him.....I did not see the purpose of berating him, even though I wanted to. And I have been going through weeks of great sorrow. At first I felt tremendous guilt, but then realized that it turned into sorrow....for what once was, and the sadness of his condition. Because behind the disease is a wonderful person whom I thought I was going to "grow old with" and I thought was my soul mate. Well in a way, I still do feel like he is my soul mate, but I know that living with him and growing old together is no longer an option. So I recently let him know that our marriag e is over. And as expected, he has not taken this well. He is begging me to give him a "glimmer of hope." I told him that I have hope that he can recover and resolve many of the issues he has and that I have hope for him as a person, but "No, I do not have hope for our marriage." So here is my question.....Is it wrong to tell a spouse that you feel no hope? We have other issues besides his alcoholism......his anger issues, controlling issues, etc. So, it's not just about him "recovering", it's about him crossing boundaries I just could/can no longer live with.....particularly in regards to my two older children (He never had children). Should I have said, "Yes, perhaps there is hope if "yada yada yada".......All he does is cry and tell me he has no reason to live anymore. Am I being too heartless?

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