Hi guys,
Well, third time on TAM is a charm, right? Here I am. I have thought about & tried to leave my husband multiple times, only to come back to the comfortable life he provides. He is a depressed, angry & negative person, and I am an optimistic, fun & joyous person - we just don't mesh. On average, over the past 9 years with him, we get into a rather heated fight at least once per week. Sure there were some good stretches, and then there were some weeks where we'd fight every day. But I've come to the conclusion that getting stressed out one day per week by the person who should love me most is not worth it, its dragging my life down.
I've definitely communicated this to him since 2010, that we need to work on our relationship or its going to go down the gutter. I left 6 months ago for 10 days and he showed the most improvement that I've ever seen - he wanted to go to counseling, he was happy, he played with the kids, he went out of his way to be sweet to me, we were happy. For one month. Now he is back to being worse than ever - talking down to me and picking fights over things that another person might not even notice or think to say anything about.
We are 28, been together 9 years, and have 2 small children whom my life revolves around. I don't want them to grow up seeing him treat me like this and also for him to basically be a shadow of a father.
HOWEVER, he is not abusive and life is considerably more easy with him in the picture, so it will be VERY HARD for me to leave him permanently and do it all on my own.
I desperately need words of encouragement from folks who have gone through this, or think they might have some insight. Maybe some people who would be willing to be an e-pen-pal for awhile?
Thanks so much,
JB
Well, third time on TAM is a charm, right? Here I am. I have thought about & tried to leave my husband multiple times, only to come back to the comfortable life he provides. He is a depressed, angry & negative person, and I am an optimistic, fun & joyous person - we just don't mesh. On average, over the past 9 years with him, we get into a rather heated fight at least once per week. Sure there were some good stretches, and then there were some weeks where we'd fight every day. But I've come to the conclusion that getting stressed out one day per week by the person who should love me most is not worth it, its dragging my life down.
I've definitely communicated this to him since 2010, that we need to work on our relationship or its going to go down the gutter. I left 6 months ago for 10 days and he showed the most improvement that I've ever seen - he wanted to go to counseling, he was happy, he played with the kids, he went out of his way to be sweet to me, we were happy. For one month. Now he is back to being worse than ever - talking down to me and picking fights over things that another person might not even notice or think to say anything about.
We are 28, been together 9 years, and have 2 small children whom my life revolves around. I don't want them to grow up seeing him treat me like this and also for him to basically be a shadow of a father.
HOWEVER, he is not abusive and life is considerably more easy with him in the picture, so it will be VERY HARD for me to leave him permanently and do it all on my own.
I desperately need words of encouragement from folks who have gone through this, or think they might have some insight. Maybe some people who would be willing to be an e-pen-pal for awhile?
Thanks so much,
JB
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