I am not really sure where to begin. I have been married for 22 yrs and for the past several years my husband has decided that he should not have to help around the house at all. He works a swing shift schedule and has any where from 2 days off a week to 4 days off the alternate week. His days off are spent solely sitting on the couch and watching TV. Here is a typical day off for him. He will sleep until 2pm. Get up, have some lunch (only if there are leftovers he can easily microwave) then he will sit on the couch and watch TV until I am done work. I work from home and generally come downstairs from my office at 4pm to start dinner.
The kitchen is always a disaster, which I have to clean in order to make dinner. At this time he goes upstairs and watches TV while I cook and clean. I purposely won't call him to dinner, but the minute he hears the kids and I sitting down to dinner comes downstairs to eat. I have tried not making enough and telling he needs to make his own dinner. He flies into a fit of rage punch walls, kicking things. slamming doors, and calling me every cuss word in the dictionary.
He will usually eat his meal very quickly and just get up from the table, mid meal to go back upstairs to watch TV. Sometimes he will put his dishes in the dishwasher, but rarely. He will stay up there until I go to bed, then will go back downstairs and stay up all night watching TV, chewing tobacco and watching porn.
The next day is a repeat.
When I talk to him about helping out, he flies into another fit of rage about how hard he works. I only work from home, I don't have a real job, I should try doing his job etc. He usually throws at me that I just want a butler to do all the work for me.
He doesn't know what we owe, what we make, what bills are due when, what is currently in the bank, what the kids' schedules are, etc. He doesn't want to know. He spends money without telling me and without knowing how much is in checking and doesn't care one bit when we are over drawn. I have given him a list of all bills, their due dates etc along with our monthly incomes....he ripped it up and threw it out.
What makes all of this worse is that his mom and siblings tell him he is justified and should not have to help out at home because he works so hard and is so stressed over finances. Ha! They excuse his fits of rage and tell my 20 yr old daughter she is making it up or that he has reason to do it.
My husband recently lost his wallet or so he thought...he didn't put any effort into looking for it. For some reason he had expected me to cancel his credit cards and order new ones and apply for a duplicate license for him...which I did not do. After a week, he asked me about it and I said I didn't do it. He was irate! I gave him the number to the credit card company and told him he could order his license online. He did order a new debit card but figured I would still order the license. His mother told my daughter that I should have done all that for him. He shouldn't have to do it. He is a grown man! He can take care of himself. When the credit card didn't come the first week, he told my daughter he was certain that I had taken it from the mail and hid it on him. He was working over nights those 2 weeks and literally did not go to bed each morning until the mail came. He was freaking out because he could not buy his chew, junk food and porn.
I could go on and on about his shear utter laziness. It would take pages and pages! I am at my wit's end and don't know what to do. I am not able to talk to him. Any mention of it and he flies into rage...scary rage! Like, run, hide and lock the door rage. It just doesn't make sense. He is completely convinced he should never have to help out.
The kitchen is always a disaster, which I have to clean in order to make dinner. At this time he goes upstairs and watches TV while I cook and clean. I purposely won't call him to dinner, but the minute he hears the kids and I sitting down to dinner comes downstairs to eat. I have tried not making enough and telling he needs to make his own dinner. He flies into a fit of rage punch walls, kicking things. slamming doors, and calling me every cuss word in the dictionary.
He will usually eat his meal very quickly and just get up from the table, mid meal to go back upstairs to watch TV. Sometimes he will put his dishes in the dishwasher, but rarely. He will stay up there until I go to bed, then will go back downstairs and stay up all night watching TV, chewing tobacco and watching porn.
The next day is a repeat.
When I talk to him about helping out, he flies into another fit of rage about how hard he works. I only work from home, I don't have a real job, I should try doing his job etc. He usually throws at me that I just want a butler to do all the work for me.
He doesn't know what we owe, what we make, what bills are due when, what is currently in the bank, what the kids' schedules are, etc. He doesn't want to know. He spends money without telling me and without knowing how much is in checking and doesn't care one bit when we are over drawn. I have given him a list of all bills, their due dates etc along with our monthly incomes....he ripped it up and threw it out.
What makes all of this worse is that his mom and siblings tell him he is justified and should not have to help out at home because he works so hard and is so stressed over finances. Ha! They excuse his fits of rage and tell my 20 yr old daughter she is making it up or that he has reason to do it.
My husband recently lost his wallet or so he thought...he didn't put any effort into looking for it. For some reason he had expected me to cancel his credit cards and order new ones and apply for a duplicate license for him...which I did not do. After a week, he asked me about it and I said I didn't do it. He was irate! I gave him the number to the credit card company and told him he could order his license online. He did order a new debit card but figured I would still order the license. His mother told my daughter that I should have done all that for him. He shouldn't have to do it. He is a grown man! He can take care of himself. When the credit card didn't come the first week, he told my daughter he was certain that I had taken it from the mail and hid it on him. He was working over nights those 2 weeks and literally did not go to bed each morning until the mail came. He was freaking out because he could not buy his chew, junk food and porn.
I could go on and on about his shear utter laziness. It would take pages and pages! I am at my wit's end and don't know what to do. I am not able to talk to him. Any mention of it and he flies into rage...scary rage! Like, run, hide and lock the door rage. It just doesn't make sense. He is completely convinced he should never have to help out.
Put the internet to work for you.
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