When I was about to bring up divorce last time, she was going through some emotional stuff with the 1 year anniversary of the death of her mother. I decided to let her mourn.
I finally sat her down and talked. I spoke with indifference. I can't believe I still love her, but I had to speak with indifference. However, a few things happened which have caused me some issues.
First, after a long talk, about divorce and ending the marriage, why it had come to this, her faults and mine, she said "I just need some time." Of course, in the moment, I thought 'Well, I do to. I haven't found a place to live or figured out my finances.' After the fact I consider what she said as more like "I don't know if I love you enough to stay or if I want to go at it on my own. Give me some time to figure out if I want to toss you to the side or not."
I told her she doesn't have much time to decide (That's my first problem, let her think she's making a decision). She asked "How long?" I told her a day, a week maybe a month. At the time I was thinking about how long it would take me to pack up and get a place to stay. Now I wish I had said "Tomorrow."
Then, I came home today, got on my wifes computer (For reasons that are valid) and saw she had gone through an entire adult store website looking at dildos and vibrators.
Should I care? No. But I do. Why is it that I'm not good enough for sex but a toy is? Of course I have no idea how to bring this up in a conversation or even if I should. She says her libido is really low for all sorts of reasons, yet she's getting a sex toy. That doesn't make sense. Unless she's preparing for a life on her own where she'll want it. I don't know. And even if I do bring it up in conversation, I wonder how much BS would get thrown my way like "I was looking at it to maybe thrown some spice into our sex life."
I wish I could press a button and have everything done.
I finally sat her down and talked. I spoke with indifference. I can't believe I still love her, but I had to speak with indifference. However, a few things happened which have caused me some issues.
First, after a long talk, about divorce and ending the marriage, why it had come to this, her faults and mine, she said "I just need some time." Of course, in the moment, I thought 'Well, I do to. I haven't found a place to live or figured out my finances.' After the fact I consider what she said as more like "I don't know if I love you enough to stay or if I want to go at it on my own. Give me some time to figure out if I want to toss you to the side or not."
I told her she doesn't have much time to decide (That's my first problem, let her think she's making a decision). She asked "How long?" I told her a day, a week maybe a month. At the time I was thinking about how long it would take me to pack up and get a place to stay. Now I wish I had said "Tomorrow."
Then, I came home today, got on my wifes computer (For reasons that are valid) and saw she had gone through an entire adult store website looking at dildos and vibrators.
Should I care? No. But I do. Why is it that I'm not good enough for sex but a toy is? Of course I have no idea how to bring this up in a conversation or even if I should. She says her libido is really low for all sorts of reasons, yet she's getting a sex toy. That doesn't make sense. Unless she's preparing for a life on her own where she'll want it. I don't know. And even if I do bring it up in conversation, I wonder how much BS would get thrown my way like "I was looking at it to maybe thrown some spice into our sex life."
I wish I could press a button and have everything done.
Put the internet to work for you.
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