This may have been damaging for me, but I would like to relay how I found out about my wife's sex addiction and waywardness...
The only way this worked is because I knew how addicted she was (is?)...I took a chance, and found truths, but I think it left me damaged...but it also made me realize how far removed from me she was in so little time.
A couple months after moving out, my ex began to reveal her escapades to me...at this time, I was pretty sure she f***ed my longtime friend the night I left...I wasn't 100% sure...I needed to know...she denied that she was still texting him, and after the night I moved out I assumed she did, and I asked her about it. Of course she lied about it, and gave me excuses to where she was that evening...
a few weeks later, I told her I just met a guy who was interested in her and wanted to text her. I told her I showed him her pic...her addiction to sex was so strong at that point, she told me to go ahead and give him her number...this alone was a little shocking...I'm her fresh ex husband after 9 years and she's saying ok to this...???...that's when I knew she didn't care one iota about me.
So I texted her the number...but it was a number that I downloaded from an ap...she took the bait and right away began sexting him (me)...asking for pics, talking dirty, when can we meet, etc.
I played it up...making sure I used lingo I wouldn't use as me. I told her my phone was being repaired and was texting her from a laptop...since I assumed she'd want to talk eventually. She bought it as she is not at all technology knowledgeable...I even told her I couldn't send pics because it was a work laptop. She didn't care. The sexting continued. As we chatted and I warmed up to her, I found out the details of the night she slept with my friend...there...truth. I also pretended to masturbate to her story...and she loved it. I found out about all her sexcapades with other couples, other men, and her sex stuff at her place of work. It revealed even more what kind of a woman she was...as now I assumed this may have been going on while still married to me. Even though she was revealing bits and pieces to me, to me in person...why?,...to be hurtful I guess, ...well now I was finding out more...what a tramp she became...yet she did state once to this fake guy that she "never crossed the line" while married
As this fake person, I told her I wasn't really friends with her ex...I just used him to meet her...she trusted this, as she was so screwed up...and that's when she told this fake guy about her true feelings about "me"...how I was a mistake, how she hated me in the end, how she felt she was a "mommy" to me, and on and on...all the while visiting me as me to try to get money and favors out of me. Well, now I knew the real her...the other side of this woman I never thought existed. She didn't reveal this stuff to me in person, as she faked empathy and sympathy when she saw me. She texted "Good morning, sunshine" every morning to this guy...
She also revealed how she felt about my long time friend she just slept with...how there was always sexual energy when he was around, and how she was going to meet up with him in Toronto in November in a threesome, go to a swingers bar, and how she'd do "anything for him.
I must say, I was shaking every time I texted her as this "guy". It went on for weeks. She never found out. Sometimes I would send errant texts at the same time as this character was texting...after a while, as this guy, I disappeared when she began asking when we could meet in person...
Upon meeting her at my place one day to iron out the separation agreement and finances, I casually asked if she ever did text this guy...aloofly she said, "Ya...we texted a bit"...and changed the subject. I dropped it too.
I told my counsellors this. One said that it was mentally damaging, and I shouldn't have found out so much and it will leave scars. One told me that it was a clever way to find out the truth about her, and now it's easier to leave this trash behind and move on..
I have been holding this back, but I needed to relay this here...hope you all understand...
I know this sounds unreal, but because I had a feeling about how far gone she was into this world of sex, I took a chance...I was right.
The only way this worked is because I knew how addicted she was (is?)...I took a chance, and found truths, but I think it left me damaged...but it also made me realize how far removed from me she was in so little time.
A couple months after moving out, my ex began to reveal her escapades to me...at this time, I was pretty sure she f***ed my longtime friend the night I left...I wasn't 100% sure...I needed to know...she denied that she was still texting him, and after the night I moved out I assumed she did, and I asked her about it. Of course she lied about it, and gave me excuses to where she was that evening...
a few weeks later, I told her I just met a guy who was interested in her and wanted to text her. I told her I showed him her pic...her addiction to sex was so strong at that point, she told me to go ahead and give him her number...this alone was a little shocking...I'm her fresh ex husband after 9 years and she's saying ok to this...???...that's when I knew she didn't care one iota about me.
So I texted her the number...but it was a number that I downloaded from an ap...she took the bait and right away began sexting him (me)...asking for pics, talking dirty, when can we meet, etc.
I played it up...making sure I used lingo I wouldn't use as me. I told her my phone was being repaired and was texting her from a laptop...since I assumed she'd want to talk eventually. She bought it as she is not at all technology knowledgeable...I even told her I couldn't send pics because it was a work laptop. She didn't care. The sexting continued. As we chatted and I warmed up to her, I found out the details of the night she slept with my friend...there...truth. I also pretended to masturbate to her story...and she loved it. I found out about all her sexcapades with other couples, other men, and her sex stuff at her place of work. It revealed even more what kind of a woman she was...as now I assumed this may have been going on while still married to me. Even though she was revealing bits and pieces to me, to me in person...why?,...to be hurtful I guess, ...well now I was finding out more...what a tramp she became...yet she did state once to this fake guy that she "never crossed the line" while married
As this fake person, I told her I wasn't really friends with her ex...I just used him to meet her...she trusted this, as she was so screwed up...and that's when she told this fake guy about her true feelings about "me"...how I was a mistake, how she hated me in the end, how she felt she was a "mommy" to me, and on and on...all the while visiting me as me to try to get money and favors out of me. Well, now I knew the real her...the other side of this woman I never thought existed. She didn't reveal this stuff to me in person, as she faked empathy and sympathy when she saw me. She texted "Good morning, sunshine" every morning to this guy...
She also revealed how she felt about my long time friend she just slept with...how there was always sexual energy when he was around, and how she was going to meet up with him in Toronto in November in a threesome, go to a swingers bar, and how she'd do "anything for him.
I must say, I was shaking every time I texted her as this "guy". It went on for weeks. She never found out. Sometimes I would send errant texts at the same time as this character was texting...after a while, as this guy, I disappeared when she began asking when we could meet in person...
Upon meeting her at my place one day to iron out the separation agreement and finances, I casually asked if she ever did text this guy...aloofly she said, "Ya...we texted a bit"...and changed the subject. I dropped it too.
I told my counsellors this. One said that it was mentally damaging, and I shouldn't have found out so much and it will leave scars. One told me that it was a clever way to find out the truth about her, and now it's easier to leave this trash behind and move on..
I have been holding this back, but I needed to relay this here...hope you all understand...
I know this sounds unreal, but because I had a feeling about how far gone she was into this world of sex, I took a chance...I was right.
Put the internet to work for you.
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