I'm shy and socially awkward to the extent that I only have one proper friend in this city, who I barely see cos I'm not a priority for him I guess. Usually when I go to events I don't have proper conversations with anyone. I hate myself and I feel like everyone thinks I'm too ugly and uninteresting to bother with. If I manage to articulate my problem to a doctor or something like that sometimes they'll be like 'well you can talk to me fine', and it makes me feel like my problem is made up. I know I'm socially inept, it's not low self esteem that makes me think that. My best friend is even worse than me, but he actually got a diagnosis when he went to the Dr (social anxiety). The Dr didn't diagnose me with anything but she doesn't think the stuff in the IAPT booklet is appropriate for me either - she thinks I would benefit more from more specialized help, which IDK if I will ever get, and TBH it's really depressing. I haven't gone to uni yet and I'm scared I'll ha ve no friends there (my best friend has none at his and he's in his second year). I'm scared I'm going to die alone. I have a FwB and it's unfulfilling but I don't think I'll ever get a relationship because I'm ugly and depressing and my standards are too high
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment