My boyfriend and I threw a 4th of July party this past Saturday. At one point one of his friends (who was completely trashed) tried to get my attention so he yelled "hey n*gger!"
As expected I was shocked. I've never been called the n-word before.
So the friend and I started arguing. I'm asking him why he said that and I'm demanding an apology.
My bf walks over in the midst of all this and the friend goes "well I said it and I shouldn't have."
But, I'm still asking for an apology and then my boyfriend says "what he said was enough!"
That sort of infuriated me, because I felt he should be defending me, instead of acting like I'm being a drama queen for being called a n*gger.
So the rest of party got wind of what was happening and everyone started to chime in. And no one was happy and his friend just left.
My boyfriend then asked me what context he used the word in. Which made me even more upset.
People at the party jumped in and yelled at my boyfriend, telling him it doesn't matter about the context and that there's no appropriate way to use it.
So I'm arguing with my boyfriend and he's trying to make feel guilty for being upset. He starts bringing up how a year ago I got into an argument with my bestfriend. That only made me more upset. It was like he was discrediting my anger.
So I asked him "Are you stupid? What are you not understanding. Everyone here, even random people, have had my back and you are here defending your friend."
And that point he reaches out and hits me in my chest and storms off! In front of everyone!
So you can only imagine (or I hope) my level of anger and frustration at this point.
I told him later in the night that we need to see a relationship counselor or we need to break up. He said then he's not gonna see one.
Now, ever since Saturday we have not spoken. Not a single word and we live together.
I was expecting him to at least bring up what happened, but he hasn't.
We used to be a cute and happy couple, but now it's like we just can't seem to get along or see eye-to-eye.
I don't know what to do. I love him, but this whole episode was pretty bad. It's kind of difficult to not be upset after being called the n-word AND have your bf not have your back AND have your bf hit you the same night.
I'm on the verge of walking away from the relationship, but I wanted some input first.
As expected I was shocked. I've never been called the n-word before.
So the friend and I started arguing. I'm asking him why he said that and I'm demanding an apology.
My bf walks over in the midst of all this and the friend goes "well I said it and I shouldn't have."
But, I'm still asking for an apology and then my boyfriend says "what he said was enough!"
That sort of infuriated me, because I felt he should be defending me, instead of acting like I'm being a drama queen for being called a n*gger.
So the rest of party got wind of what was happening and everyone started to chime in. And no one was happy and his friend just left.
My boyfriend then asked me what context he used the word in. Which made me even more upset.
People at the party jumped in and yelled at my boyfriend, telling him it doesn't matter about the context and that there's no appropriate way to use it.
So I'm arguing with my boyfriend and he's trying to make feel guilty for being upset. He starts bringing up how a year ago I got into an argument with my bestfriend. That only made me more upset. It was like he was discrediting my anger.
So I asked him "Are you stupid? What are you not understanding. Everyone here, even random people, have had my back and you are here defending your friend."
And that point he reaches out and hits me in my chest and storms off! In front of everyone!
So you can only imagine (or I hope) my level of anger and frustration at this point.
I told him later in the night that we need to see a relationship counselor or we need to break up. He said then he's not gonna see one.
Now, ever since Saturday we have not spoken. Not a single word and we live together.
I was expecting him to at least bring up what happened, but he hasn't.
We used to be a cute and happy couple, but now it's like we just can't seem to get along or see eye-to-eye.
I don't know what to do. I love him, but this whole episode was pretty bad. It's kind of difficult to not be upset after being called the n-word AND have your bf not have your back AND have your bf hit you the same night.
I'm on the verge of walking away from the relationship, but I wanted some input first.
Put the internet to work for you.
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