Am 45, she is 36. Been married for 11 years ( she says 13) with 2 gals 10 and 8, my angels, my true love. I had suspected that she has been cheating until last Saturday when it hit me like a thunderbolt. Here is my story.
About a month ago, a friend of mine called me and enquired if we had changed our residence. I told her no, and wondered why she was asking. Well, she said she had spotted my wife's car severally parked in her apartment block which is like 5 km from my house. I told her to find out which flat she was visiting and after a day or so she called and confirmed that the flat she visited had single man as the occupier. Immediately I got a PI to help investigate. He came back to me with a full log of her mobile usage in the last one month, but this is not the normal phone bill. Instead this showed also the name of the nearest mobile phone transmitter station where her handset made or received the call, call duration, who it came from. So if she had been driving you can easily track her movement, how long she stayed in a particular location etc.
In that month she had visited the said house like 10 times. All visits were for periods of 2-6hours. Also they talked or smsed each other between 5-10 times a day. Almost everyday the first and last call would be to this contact. If I happen to have been at home it would be an sms. From the document it was clear to me a full blown relationship was ongoing. Then for the last one week, I was mainly at home. I studied this like 100page document to understand her movements and she was mostly at home also. So I had to really hide and take drives to be alone. The pain and sense of betrayal as I went through this arduous task was immense. She strutted around the house like a queen bee throwing silly snide remarks that a happy couple would normally engage in. She was of course oblivious of what I was doing behind her back. And you know what I even assumed maybe the affair had cooled off because the whole week she looked so at peace, so at home.
Then yesterday morning my world came crushing down. We had agreed that I would wake up early to drop my kids to a school event. Unfortunately I overslept and the bus left them so I had to drive to the event and take them. Then an hour or so later i get a call from my friend in the said apartment block telling me that my wife's car was parked there. I called her and she didn't pick(I think she was in the midst of the throes of vanquishing a one week old sexual starvation episode). She, however, called me half an hour later and though I could tell from the background noise that she was indoors, she cheated me that she was driving to check on the kids. She never went. Instead she remained there till 2-3pm and the kids were dropped back by the bus. She was very testy last night, pretending to be very tired(she probably was, actually) and avoided me by going to sleep with the kids( not like I cared at all). Today we have basically been robots, went to church and afterwards stayed indoors.
Initially I thought I will get the PI to install cameras and get video footage in the OM house but I don't really think that is necessary any more. Am planning to make my move this week. First I will ask her and am sure she will deny. She avoids having any kind of conversation with me and am sure she will run away from this one so am planning to call one of her friends as I break the news to her. I want to end this marriage forthwith. The house we are living in is a rental so I am happy to leave her in this house just so that I don't unfairly interrupt the kids life and education without a proper plan. I intend to leave by weekend so I must look for a house and furnish it. I don't want R and I actually don't think she is capable at all. The main thing to discuss is our kids, and that we can do when we are not sharing the same roof.
Good people at TAM, please help me sail through this storm. My heart is broken, but funny enough I feel some relief and calm that's confounding. Sorry for such a long post.
About a month ago, a friend of mine called me and enquired if we had changed our residence. I told her no, and wondered why she was asking. Well, she said she had spotted my wife's car severally parked in her apartment block which is like 5 km from my house. I told her to find out which flat she was visiting and after a day or so she called and confirmed that the flat she visited had single man as the occupier. Immediately I got a PI to help investigate. He came back to me with a full log of her mobile usage in the last one month, but this is not the normal phone bill. Instead this showed also the name of the nearest mobile phone transmitter station where her handset made or received the call, call duration, who it came from. So if she had been driving you can easily track her movement, how long she stayed in a particular location etc.
In that month she had visited the said house like 10 times. All visits were for periods of 2-6hours. Also they talked or smsed each other between 5-10 times a day. Almost everyday the first and last call would be to this contact. If I happen to have been at home it would be an sms. From the document it was clear to me a full blown relationship was ongoing. Then for the last one week, I was mainly at home. I studied this like 100page document to understand her movements and she was mostly at home also. So I had to really hide and take drives to be alone. The pain and sense of betrayal as I went through this arduous task was immense. She strutted around the house like a queen bee throwing silly snide remarks that a happy couple would normally engage in. She was of course oblivious of what I was doing behind her back. And you know what I even assumed maybe the affair had cooled off because the whole week she looked so at peace, so at home.
Then yesterday morning my world came crushing down. We had agreed that I would wake up early to drop my kids to a school event. Unfortunately I overslept and the bus left them so I had to drive to the event and take them. Then an hour or so later i get a call from my friend in the said apartment block telling me that my wife's car was parked there. I called her and she didn't pick(I think she was in the midst of the throes of vanquishing a one week old sexual starvation episode). She, however, called me half an hour later and though I could tell from the background noise that she was indoors, she cheated me that she was driving to check on the kids. She never went. Instead she remained there till 2-3pm and the kids were dropped back by the bus. She was very testy last night, pretending to be very tired(she probably was, actually) and avoided me by going to sleep with the kids( not like I cared at all). Today we have basically been robots, went to church and afterwards stayed indoors.
Initially I thought I will get the PI to install cameras and get video footage in the OM house but I don't really think that is necessary any more. Am planning to make my move this week. First I will ask her and am sure she will deny. She avoids having any kind of conversation with me and am sure she will run away from this one so am planning to call one of her friends as I break the news to her. I want to end this marriage forthwith. The house we are living in is a rental so I am happy to leave her in this house just so that I don't unfairly interrupt the kids life and education without a proper plan. I intend to leave by weekend so I must look for a house and furnish it. I don't want R and I actually don't think she is capable at all. The main thing to discuss is our kids, and that we can do when we are not sharing the same roof.
Good people at TAM, please help me sail through this storm. My heart is broken, but funny enough I feel some relief and calm that's confounding. Sorry for such a long post.
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