I posted a thread a couple of days ago complaining about how I have no friends.
The reason I value friendships and relationships so highly is because I know what it's like to be part of a group of people who help each other out and watch each other's back. But I can't cultivate friendships.
One of the inevitable extensions of this is that I can't form relationships with girls either. Think about it. What would a girl instantaneously think if there was a man flirting with her and she discovered he had no friends? She would be gone in the blink of an eye.
And say what you like about the "friend zone" but in that scenario the girl is at least willing to be friends. Friend zone is almost thought of as a shameful place to be in, but the girl at least thinks enough of you as a person to be friends.
Getting rejected for dating / sex / relationships is pretty much nothing. You only commit to one person so it's so much more competitive. Getting rejected for friendship is a cause for concern though. People like having many friends and they like being popular, so if you're rejected for friendship...
I always feel like I have so much to offer. People say I'm friendly, funny, crazy-in-a-good-way, confident and many other positive things. It's almost like I have these superficial conversations and temporary friendships with people on nights out. Solo nights out are my social life. There's nothing else.
Most importantly I want to offer people loyalty and confidence. An outlet for secrets and be there to provide emotional support.
I meet all these people and it's good for a while but they're soon sucked back into their "real life" with their "real friends." It's almost as if what happens in nights clubs isn't the real world. It's almost like it doesn't count at all. That's why women can have ONS and just forget about them, sweep it under the rug and behave like it never happened. You're just an amusing story that crops up now and again. "Remember that guy who did this...hahaha."
Or how about lads on a night out. Most of my acquaintances have become comfortable with doing that "out-alphaing" thing with me but at the same time they do it from a position where everyone is aware that I'm not their bro. I could kiss their arse a little to cultivate a friendship but I'm actually that slick and charming about it, they don't trust me. It's like everyone sees me as a con-artist.
I get cock-blocked by women who were friendly with me five minutes prior.
I've met the stereotypical "jealous beta" a thousand times on a night out. It sounds like I'm objectifying massively, but I know it's not the guy's true personality.
Basically I can't get a girlfriend because I haven't got any friends. This has been such a massive problem for me in recent years that I even let it affect my working life.
Instead of getting a full time job I did an Access to HE and went to university for the sole purpose of meeting people. It really was a social decision and had precious little to do with wanting a career in accounting. Living in halls, joining societies, group work in seminars and all the rest of it. I thought it was a perfect opportunity to make friends but everyone just thought there was something sketchy about me. I wasn't as laid back as everybody else and even though I could out-do all of them (including the girls, munters and stunners both) in social skills, I wasn't able to build any actual friendships. My male housemates planned to get a house together, and they cut me out of that deal, and the girls used almost every opportunity to take snipes at me for "being creepy" or "full of myself" or "sexist."
What is it? Can people detect neediness? Is it that thing where you think you're concealing something rather well but people can tell you're concealing something and they aren't willing to assume it's probably nothing?
Recently I met a girl in a bar and I really got on with her. Her friends approved. We kissed, we exchanged numbers, we talked on the phone once or twice. A couple of days later I got fired from my job in McDonalds basically for "not caring" and I didn't / couldn't complain. I really didn't care, lol.
The girl has basically said that she "isn't in a good place to be dating anyone" and that she is too focused on her job, academia and she's moving to her university city in september anyway. Since there is nerly two months between then and now, I've taken it as a slight. I'm an unsuitable suitor.
****ing. ****.
Put the internet to work for you.
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