My wife and I have been married 5 and a half years. She had a son from a previous relationship who only knows me as dad. We also have two daughters together 3 and two. When we got married we were in the process of moving across the country. Where we still live with no family around.
Two weeks ago out of the blue she told me she wanted a trial separation, and the from the next day on she has been cold as ice. I've never cheated or lied to her, gave her everything she wanted. She said I wasn't emotional enough with her or didn't give her enough affection. She wants to rent a studio apt and since I'm off during the week and she is off on weekends share it. So on my days off I will stay at our normal apartment and she will stay at the studio and visa versa so the kids aren't disrupted. She said she wants 6 months or more so we can grow as people then work on marriage. Or if she sees me changing she might come back sooner. She would not agree to no dating other people. I told her I wouldn't tolerate it. Said she wants to find her happiness again because she lost it trying to make me happy. She refuses to counseling. I asked her if she wants it to work in the end and she said if she can let go off the bitterness she has towards me but she doesn't k now. She wants to do what makes everyone happy.
I immediately did the begging I'll change routine but soon figured out that was the wrong route. We did date about a year and a half before getting married. I dumped her should I say I didn't call her for a week and ignored her and she was already with someone else. She is no stranger to long distance emotional relationships.
She has not really had had any friends here until recently. She started her first steady job since we moved here about 6 months ago. Recently she started hanging out with them. Almost all of them are divorced an single moms. I know they all go out and party every week and weekend. So the last two weeks she has done nothing but go out to bars and stuff with these girls and has not come home I'dont even know where she's been staying. Maybe just blowing off steam, I don't know.
She has a Facebook that I've never had access to but I looked and there are some new guys on there. I can't see her post bcc its private but I see them liking her picks and stuff. One she worked with at a previous job.
The last four days she has been in Vegas with her long time friend from home who is a lesbian. I believe she could have been having an ea with her or someone else on Facebook. I believe she has very low self esteem to begin with. She is constantly posting selfies, craving attention. Her friends Facebook says Vegas here I come and my wife wrote back ahhhhh hmmmm. You mean xxxxxx here you come with blushing emojis. I wonder if something is going on there.
I'm just lost right now. I'm trying not to worry about what she is doing but it is hard. Should I do the 180. The studio she wants to rent, the lease is up in October. She said maybe we can live together then but she is not saying the separation is over. I was thinking if it doesn't change then I'm done with it. Any suggestions.
We didnt really date before getting married. Did the long distance thing. Did she use me because I had a good job and had good character to be a father to her fatherless son. Is she cheating I have a million questions.
Two weeks ago out of the blue she told me she wanted a trial separation, and the from the next day on she has been cold as ice. I've never cheated or lied to her, gave her everything she wanted. She said I wasn't emotional enough with her or didn't give her enough affection. She wants to rent a studio apt and since I'm off during the week and she is off on weekends share it. So on my days off I will stay at our normal apartment and she will stay at the studio and visa versa so the kids aren't disrupted. She said she wants 6 months or more so we can grow as people then work on marriage. Or if she sees me changing she might come back sooner. She would not agree to no dating other people. I told her I wouldn't tolerate it. Said she wants to find her happiness again because she lost it trying to make me happy. She refuses to counseling. I asked her if she wants it to work in the end and she said if she can let go off the bitterness she has towards me but she doesn't k now. She wants to do what makes everyone happy.
I immediately did the begging I'll change routine but soon figured out that was the wrong route. We did date about a year and a half before getting married. I dumped her should I say I didn't call her for a week and ignored her and she was already with someone else. She is no stranger to long distance emotional relationships.
She has not really had had any friends here until recently. She started her first steady job since we moved here about 6 months ago. Recently she started hanging out with them. Almost all of them are divorced an single moms. I know they all go out and party every week and weekend. So the last two weeks she has done nothing but go out to bars and stuff with these girls and has not come home I'dont even know where she's been staying. Maybe just blowing off steam, I don't know.
She has a Facebook that I've never had access to but I looked and there are some new guys on there. I can't see her post bcc its private but I see them liking her picks and stuff. One she worked with at a previous job.
The last four days she has been in Vegas with her long time friend from home who is a lesbian. I believe she could have been having an ea with her or someone else on Facebook. I believe she has very low self esteem to begin with. She is constantly posting selfies, craving attention. Her friends Facebook says Vegas here I come and my wife wrote back ahhhhh hmmmm. You mean xxxxxx here you come with blushing emojis. I wonder if something is going on there.
I'm just lost right now. I'm trying not to worry about what she is doing but it is hard. Should I do the 180. The studio she wants to rent, the lease is up in October. She said maybe we can live together then but she is not saying the separation is over. I was thinking if it doesn't change then I'm done with it. Any suggestions.
We didnt really date before getting married. Did the long distance thing. Did she use me because I had a good job and had good character to be a father to her fatherless son. Is she cheating I have a million questions.
Put the internet to work for you.
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