Wife has mental illness that flared up just as she was finishing grad school. Has never been able to work in her field as a result and is unemployed. She stays home with our child who is now school-aged.
Between the three degrees she obtained when she was mentally healthy, she attained over $200k in student loan debt. Initially, it was in forbearance but of course, interest continues to build and she now owes $260k because of that.
We have been filing taxes jointly with mutual benefit.
Now, after ten years, it is time to pay the piper. I give her an allowance for her expenses including at least some payment on her student loan. Of course, being bipolar, she frequently blows it and asks for more. Before you ask, the answer is always "no". I'm not trying to be a doormat here.
This means I have been stuck some months paying her $1300 student loan payment. I do not intend to continue jeopardizing my retirement paying debt I did not accumulate. I have no loan debt, I paid it off long ago.
She says she is "looking for work" but has held a job for two weeks int he last ten years. She somehow expects me to find work for her, while I'm working 10-12 hours a day with frequent weekend extra because no one at my workplace does what I do.
My options here are
1. Be a doormat and just take over the student loan payments the rest of my life. Screw that, ain't happening, and I have told her that.
2. Change to married filing separately for our taxes. Loss of tax benefits as a result, but she can have a more manageable student loan payment as then she'll be eligible for an income-based payment reduction without having to consider my significant income. This is where I'm leaning.
3. Declare her disabled. She is, effectively, but she declines to sign off on the paperwork. This is part of the "no insight" thing about bipolar disease. "I'm not disabled, everybody else is because they don't understand me". Um, OK. She is on meds...but they only do so much.
Because things have come to a head in the last couple of months, I have been out sniffing for low-stress work the wife might be able to handle. Further, as much as I hate doing it, I finally started mandating that a specific amount of the biweekly allowance I give her go to the student loans, or else I stop giving it, the end. She didn't like that, but is being compliant so far.
So what would the great intelligence of TAM do?
Between the three degrees she obtained when she was mentally healthy, she attained over $200k in student loan debt. Initially, it was in forbearance but of course, interest continues to build and she now owes $260k because of that.
We have been filing taxes jointly with mutual benefit.
Now, after ten years, it is time to pay the piper. I give her an allowance for her expenses including at least some payment on her student loan. Of course, being bipolar, she frequently blows it and asks for more. Before you ask, the answer is always "no". I'm not trying to be a doormat here.
This means I have been stuck some months paying her $1300 student loan payment. I do not intend to continue jeopardizing my retirement paying debt I did not accumulate. I have no loan debt, I paid it off long ago.
She says she is "looking for work" but has held a job for two weeks int he last ten years. She somehow expects me to find work for her, while I'm working 10-12 hours a day with frequent weekend extra because no one at my workplace does what I do.
My options here are
1. Be a doormat and just take over the student loan payments the rest of my life. Screw that, ain't happening, and I have told her that.
2. Change to married filing separately for our taxes. Loss of tax benefits as a result, but she can have a more manageable student loan payment as then she'll be eligible for an income-based payment reduction without having to consider my significant income. This is where I'm leaning.
3. Declare her disabled. She is, effectively, but she declines to sign off on the paperwork. This is part of the "no insight" thing about bipolar disease. "I'm not disabled, everybody else is because they don't understand me". Um, OK. She is on meds...but they only do so much.
Because things have come to a head in the last couple of months, I have been out sniffing for low-stress work the wife might be able to handle. Further, as much as I hate doing it, I finally started mandating that a specific amount of the biweekly allowance I give her go to the student loans, or else I stop giving it, the end. She didn't like that, but is being compliant so far.
So what would the great intelligence of TAM do?
Put the internet to work for you.
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