I was once an active member on this forum 3-4 years ago when my wife at the time gave me the textbook "I love you but I'm not in love with you" ... It wasn't an easy road. I lost many friends, there were thoughts of suicide, feelings of inadequacy. For those of you who are currently going through this, I feel for you. Hang in there, give yourself another chance to be happy. So here I am now, engaged to be wed for the 3rd time, sometimes laughing at myself because I've read the statistics. I'm in love with this woman because she challenges me, but it isn't always roses. This road is also very tough.
Long story short, my current fiance is a girl I dated post-divorce, but we went and dated other people. After a couple of years of knowing each other, I fell in love with her and decided to make things real between us.
I made a terrible mistake, however. After dating her, I dated a mortal enemy of hers and I was also frenemies with the ex-wife. Skip forward another two years, after a romantic getaway with the girl, she accepted my wedding proposal. Not a week has gone by when she doesn't bring up the enemy ex-girlfriend. It was established that she had the right to pick fights and I am not allowed to fight back, because I "put her through so much sh- ..." or I killed her and that I'm responsible for her depression. Per one of our last arguments, giving me another chance at this romance was her doing me a favor, and that I should be thankful and submissive.
It has gotten bad. She would visit my ex-girlfriend's FaceBook page and I would get in trouble because the ex hasn't deleted pictures or posts of me. She is aware I have no control over what someone else posts, yet I am still catching heat for something posted 14 months ago. I haven't been romantic with this ex in over a year.
Just recently she looked through my chat history and found out I had slept with my ex-wife last summer. We weren't officially together and I thought I was a free agent, knowing she was dating someone also. Unfortunately, she said it is also my fault she had to date someone else. She fights me by screaming at the top of her lungs ... today she physically struck me with full force. She then told me it was my fault for driving her to such extremes.
I am fully aware there will be trust issues with such a rocky history between the two of us. I have been looking forward to marrying this girl and have actually been faithful to her since deciding to give her everything. I gave her all of my passwords and access to my accounts because I wanted to be completely transparent. I had nothing to hide. My phone has no lock code. I just didn't know she'd dig so deep and so far back.
Anyhow, I really just wanted to vent. She is taking medicine for depression and although I may have been a crummy boyfriend before, I feel that I've been a great fiance. I want to have a better understanding of how her mind works. I don't want to live the rest of my life walking around egg shells, I want to know how to approach this without igniting something explosive. I just want to move on with our lives and to forget all of this nonsense. Thanks for reading.
Long story short, my current fiance is a girl I dated post-divorce, but we went and dated other people. After a couple of years of knowing each other, I fell in love with her and decided to make things real between us.
I made a terrible mistake, however. After dating her, I dated a mortal enemy of hers and I was also frenemies with the ex-wife. Skip forward another two years, after a romantic getaway with the girl, she accepted my wedding proposal. Not a week has gone by when she doesn't bring up the enemy ex-girlfriend. It was established that she had the right to pick fights and I am not allowed to fight back, because I "put her through so much sh- ..." or I killed her and that I'm responsible for her depression. Per one of our last arguments, giving me another chance at this romance was her doing me a favor, and that I should be thankful and submissive.
It has gotten bad. She would visit my ex-girlfriend's FaceBook page and I would get in trouble because the ex hasn't deleted pictures or posts of me. She is aware I have no control over what someone else posts, yet I am still catching heat for something posted 14 months ago. I haven't been romantic with this ex in over a year.
Just recently she looked through my chat history and found out I had slept with my ex-wife last summer. We weren't officially together and I thought I was a free agent, knowing she was dating someone also. Unfortunately, she said it is also my fault she had to date someone else. She fights me by screaming at the top of her lungs ... today she physically struck me with full force. She then told me it was my fault for driving her to such extremes.
I am fully aware there will be trust issues with such a rocky history between the two of us. I have been looking forward to marrying this girl and have actually been faithful to her since deciding to give her everything. I gave her all of my passwords and access to my accounts because I wanted to be completely transparent. I had nothing to hide. My phone has no lock code. I just didn't know she'd dig so deep and so far back.
Anyhow, I really just wanted to vent. She is taking medicine for depression and although I may have been a crummy boyfriend before, I feel that I've been a great fiance. I want to have a better understanding of how her mind works. I don't want to live the rest of my life walking around egg shells, I want to know how to approach this without igniting something explosive. I just want to move on with our lives and to forget all of this nonsense. Thanks for reading.
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