I'm the mom. Our kids are going through a terrible time right now with the 2nd break-up of their parents, and their 3rd break-up of a parental relationship overall. My 14 year old daughter is really hurting. She'll open up to me and share about her concerns about her girlfriends (i.e. one is cutting, etc.), but when I try to get her to open up about her own feelings, I do not usually succeed. She's kindof a pleaser and doesn't want to rock the boat. Holds it all in and does not get angry, except sometimes at her dogs if they don't listen.
Usually all I can come up with is, "is there anything else you want to talk about?" and she will shrug, as if she'd be open to a follow-up question, but I'm just not good at it and don't know what to say. I usually tell her that I'll be around if she decides she has anything to talk about. But, I'm failing her by not being better at drawing her out. (She is in counseling, by the way.)
She wrote a heartbreaking poem last night/this morning about everything, and it ended with, "Where did my Father go?" It broke my heart to read how much she's hurting. (It was a school assignment and she doesn't know I read it.) To clarify, her father didn't GO anywhere physically. He's just a completely different person than he was just a year ago. (DX with ADHD last fall, and so was she, and I noticed he also just started taking Lexapro)
So, for those of you who are better at this than I am, can you suggest some very direct questions I could ask her that she might be willing to open up about?
Usually all I can come up with is, "is there anything else you want to talk about?" and she will shrug, as if she'd be open to a follow-up question, but I'm just not good at it and don't know what to say. I usually tell her that I'll be around if she decides she has anything to talk about. But, I'm failing her by not being better at drawing her out. (She is in counseling, by the way.)
She wrote a heartbreaking poem last night/this morning about everything, and it ended with, "Where did my Father go?" It broke my heart to read how much she's hurting. (It was a school assignment and she doesn't know I read it.) To clarify, her father didn't GO anywhere physically. He's just a completely different person than he was just a year ago. (DX with ADHD last fall, and so was she, and I noticed he also just started taking Lexapro)
So, for those of you who are better at this than I am, can you suggest some very direct questions I could ask her that she might be willing to open up about?
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