I met a girl six months ago, and I never knew how much she'd impact my life. She came across as a really shy person, but we quickly got talking and things just took off from there...
A couple of months later, one of her few close relatives passed away. She told me that she had anxiety and depression and before long, she was becoming very withdrawn and started avoiding school and social events.
In the months that followed, we grew really close, and people started talking about how we make a great couple. Deep down, we both knew that the rumours were true, and that we both had feelings for each other. It was more than just a spontaneous relationship - she talked to me about everything else that was going through her mind and slowly but surely, our connection grew.
A couple of weeks ago, a little by surprise to the both of us, we found ourselves on the edge of a relationship, and decided to take a trip away on the train after school. I could tell that she was nervous, but she wanted to carry on with everything, so that's what we did. It was an amazing evening - I honestly don't think it could have gone any better for either of us. But there was a problem...
We both wanted to be together, more than anything. But her anxiety meant that it just wouldn't work. Little did I know that she had avoided lessons on the days surrounding our evening out. She had already been self-harming, and I could see that us being together was only going to make things worse.
And that's where we left it - we both want to make something of it, and have the time of our lives doing so, but it would simply rip her to shreds inside :'(
She spoke to me about it and we've agreed to stay friends.
But how am I supposed to look her in the eye tomorrow after everything that's happened, and simply be a friend. I'm really worried about her, and she's blaming herself for the whole thing, but I know that bombarding her with texts and phone calls over the next few days would only make things awkward... But then, so would avoiding her... And so would being friends... :( Where do I go from here...
Put the internet to work for you.
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