Hi, new member here and looking for an unbiased opinion...
My fiancé and I are getting married in a couple months and things haven't been going so well due to her financial past and unreasonable expectations.
A little background, I grew up poor, worked hard, earned a full ride for college, currently making very good money with considerable savings and investments (the typical success story blah blah blah)..
On the other hand my fiancé grew up in a well off family, but due to her parents divorce that went away. She has racked up considerable debt, about $100k in school loans, new Mercedes, etc., and what I call modern society's desire for bigger, better, and more. I was aware of her desires for bigger, better, and more, but was not aware of the debt until recently. She always downplayed it. She makes about 55k a year, but it all goes to paying school, car, cell phone, and credit card debts. She has absolutely no savings and has started missing payments and sometimes doesn't have money to eat. I honestly have no idea where her money goes and she refuses to discuss it in depth.
Anyways I have accepted that we a basically a one income household, my income. I have paid for our wedding and have accepted that I will be paying for everything for at least the next 10/15 years that "we" have; house, vacations, food, monthly bills. She currently has no bills because she still lives with her mother, whom beckons to her every call. I let her plan the wedding and it has ballooned uncontrollably. She has even gone as far to say unless we have certain things in the wedding or live in a certain town, on certain streets, in a certain type of house, there's no point in us getting married.
I have decided that we are going to keep our finances separate because with her credit history I don't even know if we could get a home mortgage, and honestly I don't trust her with not only my money, but any money. She refuses to compromise on anything. I want her to be happy and have the nicer things in life as do I, but I refuse to be buried in debt like she has done to herself chasing the Joneses. I am far from being a knight in shining armor and will not be. Everything has turned into her way or the highway. I feel she resents me because I am refusing to pay off the debts she racked up before we met. Family and friends are recommending the highway, but they have a biased opinion of course. They feel she's just using me as a way to get what she wants, I'm starting to feel the same...
What do ya'll think?
My fiancé and I are getting married in a couple months and things haven't been going so well due to her financial past and unreasonable expectations.
A little background, I grew up poor, worked hard, earned a full ride for college, currently making very good money with considerable savings and investments (the typical success story blah blah blah)..
On the other hand my fiancé grew up in a well off family, but due to her parents divorce that went away. She has racked up considerable debt, about $100k in school loans, new Mercedes, etc., and what I call modern society's desire for bigger, better, and more. I was aware of her desires for bigger, better, and more, but was not aware of the debt until recently. She always downplayed it. She makes about 55k a year, but it all goes to paying school, car, cell phone, and credit card debts. She has absolutely no savings and has started missing payments and sometimes doesn't have money to eat. I honestly have no idea where her money goes and she refuses to discuss it in depth.
Anyways I have accepted that we a basically a one income household, my income. I have paid for our wedding and have accepted that I will be paying for everything for at least the next 10/15 years that "we" have; house, vacations, food, monthly bills. She currently has no bills because she still lives with her mother, whom beckons to her every call. I let her plan the wedding and it has ballooned uncontrollably. She has even gone as far to say unless we have certain things in the wedding or live in a certain town, on certain streets, in a certain type of house, there's no point in us getting married.
I have decided that we are going to keep our finances separate because with her credit history I don't even know if we could get a home mortgage, and honestly I don't trust her with not only my money, but any money. She refuses to compromise on anything. I want her to be happy and have the nicer things in life as do I, but I refuse to be buried in debt like she has done to herself chasing the Joneses. I am far from being a knight in shining armor and will not be. Everything has turned into her way or the highway. I feel she resents me because I am refusing to pay off the debts she racked up before we met. Family and friends are recommending the highway, but they have a biased opinion of course. They feel she's just using me as a way to get what she wants, I'm starting to feel the same...
What do ya'll think?
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