My WW had at least an extended EA two years ago with a coworker. She has a history of relationships with coworkers that don't quite rise to the level of "fire", but there's been plenty of smoke. The only time she admitted inappropriate behavior was due to the OM's wife calling me and revealing the details. We have moved 1300 miles away from the OM, and the wife doesn't travel without me, so I'm not worried about him.
I thought I had moved past the affair and started to trust her again. For 2 years, there has been no evidence of extramarital activity...at least not the kind of evidence that she left last time. There are no texts from her phone according to phone bills. I can't find any emails from the account I'm aware of. So, I had kind of allowed a trust to redevelop.
But over the last several weeks, our relationship has really soured, culminating in her consulting a divorce attorney. We've been fighting a ton and I get the sense that the fights are out of proportion to the causes. She has accused me of cheating (I have not, not in any way). Several other things seem off, which taken alone wouldn't bother me, but taken together raise a red flag:
1. sex frequency has dropped off a cliff.
2. she's shaving the area very regularly (used to do it 2x a year and it was always a sex party that night). now it's just because she "can't stand it".
3. crazy fights over small things
4. suddenly the job I've had for 2 years is inadequate
5. lost a bunch of weight, colored the hair, joined a pilates studio
6. accusing me of cheating
I'm not certain she is or convinced that she isn't. If there's another affair, I am totally at peace with a quick divorce. The problem is that I'm not at all satisfied with the lack of texts/calls/emails. If she's doing this, it's happening during working hours and/or via a burner phone and secret email account.
So how does one get evidence of a workplace affair?
I thought I had moved past the affair and started to trust her again. For 2 years, there has been no evidence of extramarital activity...at least not the kind of evidence that she left last time. There are no texts from her phone according to phone bills. I can't find any emails from the account I'm aware of. So, I had kind of allowed a trust to redevelop.
But over the last several weeks, our relationship has really soured, culminating in her consulting a divorce attorney. We've been fighting a ton and I get the sense that the fights are out of proportion to the causes. She has accused me of cheating (I have not, not in any way). Several other things seem off, which taken alone wouldn't bother me, but taken together raise a red flag:
1. sex frequency has dropped off a cliff.
2. she's shaving the area very regularly (used to do it 2x a year and it was always a sex party that night). now it's just because she "can't stand it".
3. crazy fights over small things
4. suddenly the job I've had for 2 years is inadequate
5. lost a bunch of weight, colored the hair, joined a pilates studio
6. accusing me of cheating
I'm not certain she is or convinced that she isn't. If there's another affair, I am totally at peace with a quick divorce. The problem is that I'm not at all satisfied with the lack of texts/calls/emails. If she's doing this, it's happening during working hours and/or via a burner phone and secret email account.
So how does one get evidence of a workplace affair?
Put the internet to work for you.
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