So I'm not being treated as nicely as I would like to be (and have been) in previous relationships. However, my boyfriend has a lot of good qualities and I would like to try and see if this could work.... I'm just not sure how to go about it. Reading advice from the internet, there seems to be two approaches.
1. Withdraw.... be unavailable, less affectionate in order make him crave what he usually gets in the relationship and he'll go back into 'chase' mode to try and win affection again.
2. Be the best girlfriend I can be...and he'll want to be the best boyfriend he can be. I guess it follows the rule of reciprocation, if you give you'll get back.
So these two approaches are the complete opposite I'm completely confused. I would like to try 2, because I do feel like I'm not as nice to him as I was to my exes because of his not being as nice to me and it's a viscious cycle. For example, I cancelled the Christmas present I got him, because i felt really annoyed when he said there's no way he was going to get me anything because presents are against the real point of Christmas. Similarly, he's told me not to expect anything for valentines day because it's a made up holiday to benefit businesses and serves no real purpose. I actually felt mad at myself I didn't get him anything, as the point of giving isn't to expect something back. Maybe, I should just give without expecting anything in return and eventually my generosity might break the ice around his cynical heart. On the other hand, perhaps I'll come across as even more of a doormatt then I feel right now and he'll think. 'Great I don't have to put any effort into this relationship and she'll still treat me like a king'. I'm really confused.
We're long distance and he's said he's too got too much work to visit me this term (slaughter and may) but I can come and visit him (it is 6 hours of travelling all together). However, he does call me every day, make the effort to be contactable etc
Thoughts?
Put the internet to work for you.
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