Well, today my husband and I fought not just once, but twice. When he left for work earlier, it was without our having resolved either of the issues we had argued over.
Right before he left for work, my husband came upstairs to see me. I expected a hug and a kiss goodbye, but he wasn't as happy to me as I was to see him. He apparently only came upstairs to ask me (yet again) if I was sure I wanted to be married to him and if I was in it for the long haul. He typically doubts my devotion- and that turns into a fight- at least twice a week.
Every time, I am hugely surprised, and it appears, to me at least, to come out of nowhere. For example, when I had him downstairs, we were on good terms; he was playing video games and I was simply seeking someplace a little bit quieter to read. He never said anything to me about this or seemed the least bit upset when I came down periodically to get snacks.
Then he appears in my room, apparently upset with and disappointed in me, acting as though I have I have done something to make him doubt my love, or devotion to our marriage. I can never understand where he gets these ideas from. It feels to me as though he is pulling problems out of thin air and magnifying them. I am constantly confused by his inherent ability to spot problems I cannot see, and turn them into a reason to fight.
When he asks me if I'm ENTIRELY sure that I want to be married to him, I feel as though he is really saying "I don't feel like you love me. Are you sure you love me?" I feel like he cannot trust me, and believe that I love him. It hurts me that he doesn't feel that I want to be with him, that I am apparently not displaying my affection for him clearly enough. It frustrates me to no end that he sees a list of problems where I see none. Feeling rather hurt and lost,
A Navy Wife
Right before he left for work, my husband came upstairs to see me. I expected a hug and a kiss goodbye, but he wasn't as happy to me as I was to see him. He apparently only came upstairs to ask me (yet again) if I was sure I wanted to be married to him and if I was in it for the long haul. He typically doubts my devotion- and that turns into a fight- at least twice a week.
Every time, I am hugely surprised, and it appears, to me at least, to come out of nowhere. For example, when I had him downstairs, we were on good terms; he was playing video games and I was simply seeking someplace a little bit quieter to read. He never said anything to me about this or seemed the least bit upset when I came down periodically to get snacks.
Then he appears in my room, apparently upset with and disappointed in me, acting as though I have I have done something to make him doubt my love, or devotion to our marriage. I can never understand where he gets these ideas from. It feels to me as though he is pulling problems out of thin air and magnifying them. I am constantly confused by his inherent ability to spot problems I cannot see, and turn them into a reason to fight.
When he asks me if I'm ENTIRELY sure that I want to be married to him, I feel as though he is really saying "I don't feel like you love me. Are you sure you love me?" I feel like he cannot trust me, and believe that I love him. It hurts me that he doesn't feel that I want to be with him, that I am apparently not displaying my affection for him clearly enough. It frustrates me to no end that he sees a list of problems where I see none. Feeling rather hurt and lost,
A Navy Wife
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