Hi, 34 year old male here. Been with wife since I was 18 and married for last 8 years with two children, 7 & 9.
Yesterday I told my wife I wanted a separation/divorce.
My reasons:
There are others but these are the headline reasons.
I care for her well being - she is the best mother, intelligent, funny, we don't fight, and obviously both love the kids unconditionally. However, for the last couple of years I have found myself falling out love with her to the point where I now feel nothing - I feel empty as far as emotions towards her go and there is no physical attraction whatsoever.
A few times over the years I have hinted at problems, but any attempt at change was short-lived. My regret is not having a more frank and open discussion with her earlier, however I feel now that it's too late and I've let my feelings dissappear for good which is why I felt there was no option but to suggest a separation.
What I didn't want was for resentment to start to take hold on my part, arguments to begin, and for me to seek love elsewhere whilst still in the relationship. I feel this would create a toxic environment for the children and also out of respect is something I'd avoid at all costs.
As expected, my wife did not take the news well as it seemingly came out of the blue. As far as she was concerned, everything was ok in the morning and I hit her with a freight train in the afternoon, but she's more upset that I haven't given it a chance and appear not be fighting for her or the kids.
All I know is, in my heart, I don't love her anymore. The thought of not seeing the children every day crushes me, but the thought of staying in a loveless relationship is a thing I don't think I can endure.
As mentioned, my wife is devastated and will try anything if it means I'll stay. I'm not sure whether anything is salvagable at this point and am hesistant to try counselling, etc. Perhaps this is selfish, I'm not sure...
Thank you for listening
Yesterday I told my wife I wanted a separation/divorce.
My reasons:
- Lack of intimacy
Dead bedroom pretty much since first child was born - maybe 3-4 times per year
Wife has gained quite a bit of weight since first child and has not managed to shift despite several attempts
Difference in values - how to keep a home, etc.
Refusal to participate in family activities that involve physical activity
There are others but these are the headline reasons.
I care for her well being - she is the best mother, intelligent, funny, we don't fight, and obviously both love the kids unconditionally. However, for the last couple of years I have found myself falling out love with her to the point where I now feel nothing - I feel empty as far as emotions towards her go and there is no physical attraction whatsoever.
A few times over the years I have hinted at problems, but any attempt at change was short-lived. My regret is not having a more frank and open discussion with her earlier, however I feel now that it's too late and I've let my feelings dissappear for good which is why I felt there was no option but to suggest a separation.
What I didn't want was for resentment to start to take hold on my part, arguments to begin, and for me to seek love elsewhere whilst still in the relationship. I feel this would create a toxic environment for the children and also out of respect is something I'd avoid at all costs.
As expected, my wife did not take the news well as it seemingly came out of the blue. As far as she was concerned, everything was ok in the morning and I hit her with a freight train in the afternoon, but she's more upset that I haven't given it a chance and appear not be fighting for her or the kids.
All I know is, in my heart, I don't love her anymore. The thought of not seeing the children every day crushes me, but the thought of staying in a loveless relationship is a thing I don't think I can endure.
As mentioned, my wife is devastated and will try anything if it means I'll stay. I'm not sure whether anything is salvagable at this point and am hesistant to try counselling, etc. Perhaps this is selfish, I'm not sure...
Thank you for listening
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