Ok need some advice/ opinions here. Sorry this is long...backstory
I'm 32 now. About 9 years ago in college I was good friends with a male friend, we never dated or anything, just considered him a good friend but we did a lot together. Keep in mind I do not have many people in my life. When he liked this girl he had his own thing going on at the time and kinda dropped not only me but other friends. As bizarre as this sounds it really hurt my feelings and even during the years of our falling out I thought about him from time to time. I basically lost a good friend whom I cared bout. ( to make it clear I was not in love with him lol)
well today's time , bout 3 years ago we found each other on fb, we talk once in a while but only on fb, he actually lives in another state now. he started telling me his errors from the past and admitted it was bad timing all around, that he should have kept me in his life. He started the conversation and we have been talking a lot over the past month. He is the one that mentioned that he wanted to see me now. But just friends.
IMPORTANT -he mentioned something bout living at a friends house but his tenants at his house left and he would be moving back soon into his house.
I ended up offending him because I told him he was selfish and didn't care because he wanted to see me but told me only if it was halfway because its a long drive ( it would be really hard for me to drive all the way to him). But I did tell him if he wanted to see me to hang out Up by me, I would help pay for the expenses for him to come to me. ( gas, tolls, ect) He also got offended because I said it sounded like he was lonely because he told me some things and I just ended up assuming ( I assumed it out of caring, did not mean to offend) he told me " I was put off by the comment of me being selfish and not caring" A few days passed, I gave some space
Then I felt bad and apologized.....here is actual apology:
I'm very sorry I did not mean to put u off or hurt ur feelings, I know ur a caring guy which is why I liked u ( as a friend) and u still r because most people don't change ....ur a good guy.
( he didn't read the message, 2 days passed so I sent this next one...It took a lot of guts to spill my feelings)
I hope u got my apology from the other day? I feel ashamed for what I said I hope u forgive me.
I should have never assumed u were lonely. I want u to know I'm a good person too. I would talk to u regardless of anything. I have a confession to make, but hey, listen don't get paranoid, just a little more confession .....I did and always will care about you because I considered u a good friend that I lost but found again. I got to know u but would have loved to get to know u more but it sucks of our falling out. I don't have to many people in my life but I care about the ones that r important to me ( that includes u ) regardless of distances. Though I wish we were closer. I want you to know I did make an effort to find u. I always thought of things I could have done with u. I guarentee no strings attached ( just so u know I understand completely). I just wanted u to know how I felt all those years.
For anyone who reads this it seems longer than what it is than me explaining by mouth Lol! -Keep in mind I have a history with him. I'm not being obsessive, not desperate either, i just wanted him to get my apology and confess my true feelings. I got a response back a day later,
" I understand. I've been busy unpacking the past few days, ttul"
( that was 5 days ago...he said he was busy, giving him space again) remember he said he was gonna move back soon, so I know he's telling the truth.
I have no expectations from him, but just wondering in general, do men actually like or acknowledge if a woman tells him how she feels? Again no expectations but I wonder if he needed to digest what I had to say. I'm not gonna message him anymore unless he does to me now.
I'm 32 now. About 9 years ago in college I was good friends with a male friend, we never dated or anything, just considered him a good friend but we did a lot together. Keep in mind I do not have many people in my life. When he liked this girl he had his own thing going on at the time and kinda dropped not only me but other friends. As bizarre as this sounds it really hurt my feelings and even during the years of our falling out I thought about him from time to time. I basically lost a good friend whom I cared bout. ( to make it clear I was not in love with him lol)
well today's time , bout 3 years ago we found each other on fb, we talk once in a while but only on fb, he actually lives in another state now. he started telling me his errors from the past and admitted it was bad timing all around, that he should have kept me in his life. He started the conversation and we have been talking a lot over the past month. He is the one that mentioned that he wanted to see me now. But just friends.
IMPORTANT -he mentioned something bout living at a friends house but his tenants at his house left and he would be moving back soon into his house.
I ended up offending him because I told him he was selfish and didn't care because he wanted to see me but told me only if it was halfway because its a long drive ( it would be really hard for me to drive all the way to him). But I did tell him if he wanted to see me to hang out Up by me, I would help pay for the expenses for him to come to me. ( gas, tolls, ect) He also got offended because I said it sounded like he was lonely because he told me some things and I just ended up assuming ( I assumed it out of caring, did not mean to offend) he told me " I was put off by the comment of me being selfish and not caring" A few days passed, I gave some space
Then I felt bad and apologized.....here is actual apology:
I'm very sorry I did not mean to put u off or hurt ur feelings, I know ur a caring guy which is why I liked u ( as a friend) and u still r because most people don't change ....ur a good guy.
( he didn't read the message, 2 days passed so I sent this next one...It took a lot of guts to spill my feelings)
I hope u got my apology from the other day? I feel ashamed for what I said I hope u forgive me.
I should have never assumed u were lonely. I want u to know I'm a good person too. I would talk to u regardless of anything. I have a confession to make, but hey, listen don't get paranoid, just a little more confession .....I did and always will care about you because I considered u a good friend that I lost but found again. I got to know u but would have loved to get to know u more but it sucks of our falling out. I don't have to many people in my life but I care about the ones that r important to me ( that includes u ) regardless of distances. Though I wish we were closer. I want you to know I did make an effort to find u. I always thought of things I could have done with u. I guarentee no strings attached ( just so u know I understand completely). I just wanted u to know how I felt all those years.
For anyone who reads this it seems longer than what it is than me explaining by mouth Lol! -Keep in mind I have a history with him. I'm not being obsessive, not desperate either, i just wanted him to get my apology and confess my true feelings. I got a response back a day later,
" I understand. I've been busy unpacking the past few days, ttul"
( that was 5 days ago...he said he was busy, giving him space again) remember he said he was gonna move back soon, so I know he's telling the truth.
I have no expectations from him, but just wondering in general, do men actually like or acknowledge if a woman tells him how she feels? Again no expectations but I wonder if he needed to digest what I had to say. I'm not gonna message him anymore unless he does to me now.
Put the internet to work for you.
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