Hi,
First post. Hopefully I make sense. I am in my late 40s as is my wife. We've been married for 25 years. Have two kids who are both in their twenties. She is a SAHM until recently when she got a part time job.
Our marriage is just going through the motions. There is no affection, sex or feelings. We are both unhappy. I care about her but do not desire her and the feeling is mutual. We hardly talk (that may mostly be my fault). Over the years, we have had several discussions in which she has pointed out my shortcomings. These conversations include everything that she has done 'for this family' over the past 25 years. I am not writing this to bash her only to give background. Here's background on me: I do not smoke, drink, or go out without her. I hear my colleagues talking about going out all the time to grab a drink and talk. They've asked me in the past but I say no because it will lead to a fight between us. She does not drive, although she can, so whenever she needs to go somewhere, I'm driving. She says that I do not do enough and am 'not the man of the house' because she has to ask/ tell me to do/ fix things around the house. I work a full time job. I come home and do laundr y, clean and vacuum. Not every day but I have no problem doing this - and I'm not told or asked.
There is no sex in our marriage and there hasn't been for a long time - I've tried. There is no affection between us (hugs, kisses, saying I love you)
I'm at a point where I think we need some time apart. Is this selfish?? I really don't want to hurt her but I also don't want to be like this. Please offer any suggestions and I'll provide more info if needed. Not sure where to go with this.
Thank you
First post. Hopefully I make sense. I am in my late 40s as is my wife. We've been married for 25 years. Have two kids who are both in their twenties. She is a SAHM until recently when she got a part time job.
Our marriage is just going through the motions. There is no affection, sex or feelings. We are both unhappy. I care about her but do not desire her and the feeling is mutual. We hardly talk (that may mostly be my fault). Over the years, we have had several discussions in which she has pointed out my shortcomings. These conversations include everything that she has done 'for this family' over the past 25 years. I am not writing this to bash her only to give background. Here's background on me: I do not smoke, drink, or go out without her. I hear my colleagues talking about going out all the time to grab a drink and talk. They've asked me in the past but I say no because it will lead to a fight between us. She does not drive, although she can, so whenever she needs to go somewhere, I'm driving. She says that I do not do enough and am 'not the man of the house' because she has to ask/ tell me to do/ fix things around the house. I work a full time job. I come home and do laundr y, clean and vacuum. Not every day but I have no problem doing this - and I'm not told or asked.
There is no sex in our marriage and there hasn't been for a long time - I've tried. There is no affection between us (hugs, kisses, saying I love you)
I'm at a point where I think we need some time apart. Is this selfish?? I really don't want to hurt her but I also don't want to be like this. Please offer any suggestions and I'll provide more info if needed. Not sure where to go with this.
Thank you
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