I was married for 29 years to a bisexual man and didn't know it. I welcome any thoughts on this. Please excuse my writing in advance, as English is my second language.
I have been separated from my STBX for 8 months and sadly will divorce as soon as I can.
I am a Christian, and so is my STBX, I thought, we had three children 2 girls and a boy. When we met neither one of was very involved in our church but since my husband is from Provo, UT, I assumed he was a Christian straight guy. From the beginning of our marriage I thought he was a little weird, very quite, but never in my lifetime would have guessed he was gay. As far as I knew he was a cowboy, who was in the military(Navy), to me those were signs that he was heterosexual plus he was always ogling women so I guess I thought that was normal.
We have three children together but he wasn't much of a family man. I tried to make friends and take him to church so we could have a social family life but he had no interest.
After the 7th year our troubles began to get serious, he became abusive and seemed distant and despondent. We started fighting about a secret life he led and have fought about it ever since. The more I tried to get him involved, the more he pushed me and our kids away. He was into pornography and was constantly picking fights and running off checking into hotel rooms, and not telling me where he was going. He would leave for days sometimes weeks and then months. I would take him back with promises that he was going to change, it never happened.
He didn't drink or did drugs as far as I knew, but I think he does now.
By the time our third child came along we had endured a very long road of fights and isolation from relatives and any social life. THIS IS WHEN THINGS BECAME really strange... He began behaving very odd towards our daughters, especially our youngest girl that kept wanting to sleep with us....Anyhow, by the time my daughter was 10 years old I have observed many inappropriate behaviors, towards our daughter and strange things happening in the middle of the night. We argue many times about it, but he denied it all. At this time the internet had come out and his porn addiction was full blown. His secret life had become more obvious. He would come home late and would go straight to play World of Warcraft and chat online until he went to bed.
The internet didn't help with the situation as he began having connections with people. I would see all his computer history of porn and chats. He has had relationships outside our marriage with sex groups and girlfriends during work hours but always lied about it. I didn't confront him until he became more aggressive.
The last year of our marriage was about getting revenge towards me for calling him on his behaviors towards our daughters and trying to get him to get help. He made half way confessions, like for ex: I may be bi or gay, and then would denying it-- Also, I have been cheating since we got married, then again deny saying it. Yikes! Stupid games like that, that he found entertaining and that I am sure were all suggestions from his girlfriends/boyfriends. Things got so bad and it caused me much depression. He went as far as putting things in my food to make me sick.
We tried marriage counseling but he had no desire to change, just deny everything. The reason he left this last time, was because he agreed to a polygraph(suggested by the counselor) but he failed it. The same night he failed it, he came home grabbed his computer and left, didn't even take his clothes. He was afraid I called the police, that's what he said to me.
I really wished things would have turned out different. But after much pondering I know a few things about him. One of them is... He is gay, he is a LIAR and a coward! I think he tried to imply he was gay, but he was too coward and it was convenient to live a double life. I never paid much attention to his gay jokes I thought he was being funny. A few things that have come out lately have made me realize that he has no remorse and would rather cover up his homosexuality and hurt me than to be honest about everything.
He is now living in California and I live in Miami. He has left me in a foreclosed home and doesn't care one bit what happens to us (I was a stay home mom). Has turned our daughter, some of my relatives, any neighbors and friends I had against me and he harasses me everyday somehow, through phone calls, texts, car breaking. He is an avid computer hacker with many hacker friends, so my Network is hacked, my phone is hacked and my emails are hacked and I know nothing about computer. : / I Called the police and they want prove, but the only prove is my frustration.
I feel like I am living in a nightmare and I don't know if or when will it stop. I think he is afraid of his father knowing who he really is... It sounds crazy but it is all happening to me and my two kids since my other daughter has sided with him. Oh yeah, he has become the greatest charming, story teller I have ever known and can persuade anyone to do anything fro him. I don't know how he does it.
Needless to say he is not the shy introvert guy I married and has no remorse for his actions. We are devastated with his behavior as he won't stop.
I need advice on how to protect myself from this individual that is no longer the man I thought I knew. Sorry this got so long and Thank you in advance!
I have been separated from my STBX for 8 months and sadly will divorce as soon as I can.
I am a Christian, and so is my STBX, I thought, we had three children 2 girls and a boy. When we met neither one of was very involved in our church but since my husband is from Provo, UT, I assumed he was a Christian straight guy. From the beginning of our marriage I thought he was a little weird, very quite, but never in my lifetime would have guessed he was gay. As far as I knew he was a cowboy, who was in the military(Navy), to me those were signs that he was heterosexual plus he was always ogling women so I guess I thought that was normal.
We have three children together but he wasn't much of a family man. I tried to make friends and take him to church so we could have a social family life but he had no interest.
After the 7th year our troubles began to get serious, he became abusive and seemed distant and despondent. We started fighting about a secret life he led and have fought about it ever since. The more I tried to get him involved, the more he pushed me and our kids away. He was into pornography and was constantly picking fights and running off checking into hotel rooms, and not telling me where he was going. He would leave for days sometimes weeks and then months. I would take him back with promises that he was going to change, it never happened.
He didn't drink or did drugs as far as I knew, but I think he does now.
By the time our third child came along we had endured a very long road of fights and isolation from relatives and any social life. THIS IS WHEN THINGS BECAME really strange... He began behaving very odd towards our daughters, especially our youngest girl that kept wanting to sleep with us....Anyhow, by the time my daughter was 10 years old I have observed many inappropriate behaviors, towards our daughter and strange things happening in the middle of the night. We argue many times about it, but he denied it all. At this time the internet had come out and his porn addiction was full blown. His secret life had become more obvious. He would come home late and would go straight to play World of Warcraft and chat online until he went to bed.
The internet didn't help with the situation as he began having connections with people. I would see all his computer history of porn and chats. He has had relationships outside our marriage with sex groups and girlfriends during work hours but always lied about it. I didn't confront him until he became more aggressive.
The last year of our marriage was about getting revenge towards me for calling him on his behaviors towards our daughters and trying to get him to get help. He made half way confessions, like for ex: I may be bi or gay, and then would denying it-- Also, I have been cheating since we got married, then again deny saying it. Yikes! Stupid games like that, that he found entertaining and that I am sure were all suggestions from his girlfriends/boyfriends. Things got so bad and it caused me much depression. He went as far as putting things in my food to make me sick.
We tried marriage counseling but he had no desire to change, just deny everything. The reason he left this last time, was because he agreed to a polygraph(suggested by the counselor) but he failed it. The same night he failed it, he came home grabbed his computer and left, didn't even take his clothes. He was afraid I called the police, that's what he said to me.
I really wished things would have turned out different. But after much pondering I know a few things about him. One of them is... He is gay, he is a LIAR and a coward! I think he tried to imply he was gay, but he was too coward and it was convenient to live a double life. I never paid much attention to his gay jokes I thought he was being funny. A few things that have come out lately have made me realize that he has no remorse and would rather cover up his homosexuality and hurt me than to be honest about everything.
He is now living in California and I live in Miami. He has left me in a foreclosed home and doesn't care one bit what happens to us (I was a stay home mom). Has turned our daughter, some of my relatives, any neighbors and friends I had against me and he harasses me everyday somehow, through phone calls, texts, car breaking. He is an avid computer hacker with many hacker friends, so my Network is hacked, my phone is hacked and my emails are hacked and I know nothing about computer. : / I Called the police and they want prove, but the only prove is my frustration.
I feel like I am living in a nightmare and I don't know if or when will it stop. I think he is afraid of his father knowing who he really is... It sounds crazy but it is all happening to me and my two kids since my other daughter has sided with him. Oh yeah, he has become the greatest charming, story teller I have ever known and can persuade anyone to do anything fro him. I don't know how he does it.
Needless to say he is not the shy introvert guy I married and has no remorse for his actions. We are devastated with his behavior as he won't stop.
I need advice on how to protect myself from this individual that is no longer the man I thought I knew. Sorry this got so long and Thank you in advance!
Put the internet to work for you.
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