Hi
I'm new to this forum and looking for advice.
My husband and I have been married for 7 months (together for 5 years).Before I met my husband he used to occasionally smoke weed. After I met my husband I let him know I didn't like it and he smoked it a few times while out with friends (never around me). When we got married he said he was never going to smoke it again and didn't want to be like his friends who lied to their wives about smoking.
In March I was looking for some spare change and came across some weed. I was really shocked and didn't know what to do so just left it. Over the coming weeks whenever I got home from work I could smell air freshener. I knew he was smoking weed. I went back to find his stash and discovered there was a lot more there plus he had been using one of our tea cups to put it in. I wasn't sure how to approach him so I asked if he had seen the tea cup. We had a set of 4 and I could only find 3. He said he broke it. I was so upset that he flat out lied.
That afternoon I put the "missing" tea cup on the table and said we needed to talk. I told him that I don't want it in the house and if he needs help for addiction we can work through it. He said he is not addicted but he bought it from a friend for a bit of fun and the guys he works with wanted some so he was going to sell some to them to. I got quite upset and said I wasn't comfortable with it. He said the real reason he got it was because he had 2 weeks off work and wanted something to do. We disagreed for a while then I said fine he could have it for the 2 weeks but I didn't want to see it, hear it, smell it or have anyone see him with it and under no circumstances could he smoke inside.
Well his 2 weeks off work ended today and I know he has been smoking inside. The smell is disgusting.
What was sadness and disappointment for what he did has now turned into resentment. I can't look at him the same way now, he's lost my trust and respect. I feel uncomfortable when he touches me, I've told him that I have no desire for sex or intimacy, and I know he senses that I'm still angry. I'm also uncomfortable with myself for letting him keep the weed for the 2weeks.
I still love him and want this to work out but I don't know how to go forward. I don't know what to do so have shut down. I want to have a big talk to him but I don't know where to start.
I'm new to this forum and looking for advice.
My husband and I have been married for 7 months (together for 5 years).Before I met my husband he used to occasionally smoke weed. After I met my husband I let him know I didn't like it and he smoked it a few times while out with friends (never around me). When we got married he said he was never going to smoke it again and didn't want to be like his friends who lied to their wives about smoking.
In March I was looking for some spare change and came across some weed. I was really shocked and didn't know what to do so just left it. Over the coming weeks whenever I got home from work I could smell air freshener. I knew he was smoking weed. I went back to find his stash and discovered there was a lot more there plus he had been using one of our tea cups to put it in. I wasn't sure how to approach him so I asked if he had seen the tea cup. We had a set of 4 and I could only find 3. He said he broke it. I was so upset that he flat out lied.
That afternoon I put the "missing" tea cup on the table and said we needed to talk. I told him that I don't want it in the house and if he needs help for addiction we can work through it. He said he is not addicted but he bought it from a friend for a bit of fun and the guys he works with wanted some so he was going to sell some to them to. I got quite upset and said I wasn't comfortable with it. He said the real reason he got it was because he had 2 weeks off work and wanted something to do. We disagreed for a while then I said fine he could have it for the 2 weeks but I didn't want to see it, hear it, smell it or have anyone see him with it and under no circumstances could he smoke inside.
Well his 2 weeks off work ended today and I know he has been smoking inside. The smell is disgusting.
What was sadness and disappointment for what he did has now turned into resentment. I can't look at him the same way now, he's lost my trust and respect. I feel uncomfortable when he touches me, I've told him that I have no desire for sex or intimacy, and I know he senses that I'm still angry. I'm also uncomfortable with myself for letting him keep the weed for the 2weeks.
I still love him and want this to work out but I don't know how to go forward. I don't know what to do so have shut down. I want to have a big talk to him but I don't know where to start.
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