Hi everyone,
I've gotten into a situation lately that I could do with some advice/help dealing with.
My girlfriend and I broke up a week ago after nearly 5 years together.
We fell in love fast originally and became incredibly close. We spent a huge amount of our time together and lived in each other's pockets. We're both incredibly tactile people and have always been amazingly close.
For the first 5/6 months of our relationship the sex was amazing. Regular, good quality etc. We were madly in love and enjoying it. I'd met her family, and developed a great relationship with them, and they loved me. My family loved her and we had a good number of mutual friends. Out of nowhere, she told me she wasn't in love with me any more, after about 2 years and having just been travelling together.
Christ, it was heartbreaking. I thought this girl was the one for me, and that we had an amazing future together. We broke up. I was a wreck for a good amount of time and struggled with the whole thing massively, making a huge number of excuses in my head as to why it hadn't worked.
At the time, we'd been having sex a lot less. Maybe three times a month? Usually within a few days of each other. In between we wouldn't be completely a-sexual, but certainly more about comfort.
Anyway, after about 3 months, she realised she'd made a mistake. She told me she wanted to get back together and we went from there.
The sex was good again, and regular again. We were completely in love again. We moved in together, and I was planning on proposing to her towards the end of this year. She and I had regularly talked about getting married and our future, and were looking at new houses together to move into in the next couple of months.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, something changed. She was particularly grumpy (odd for her), and I didn't feel right at all. I've always been a worrier, someone who lays awake thinking at night, and someone who can't sleep after an argument or disagreement. I don't know why. Either way, I didn't feel right at all.
For a little while I'd been thinking that maybe I wasn't as attracted to her as before. Which is absurd, because she's stunning. She's got literally everything, and I was very lucky to have had her. At the end of this week of feeling slightly odd, we broke up. This time mutually. She wasn't IN love with me anymore and had been unhappy for a little while, and I wasn't completely head over heels for her. When I say 'unhappy' I mean, loving life together, having an amazing time, and that we literally loved spending every second together. Things had just stagnated. She works full time and I'm just finishing university, and so we were on different timetables and she was stressed all the time. Either way, we'd stopped doing as much fun stuff.
It's just so difficult to take. We still love each other so much. She has told me that I'm the only person she's ever met that she connects with like me. Her entire family thought we were 'together forever', as did mine and all our friends. She told me she will never love anyone like me but that it's so important to have that wanting to rip each other's clothes off all the time, which we don't have. We have it occasionally, for a few days a month, but not constant. It's obviously still a part of a relationship but she maintains it's not right to be our age (mid 20's) and not have sex all the time.
I just don't know what to do. I really don't. I don't know whether to hang on. Because for me, whilst at the moment i'm not constantly thinking about having sex with her, that is the case alot of the rest of the time, and the sex isn't completely absent, it's just not as important to our relationship as closeness and love. She is so important to me, and has changed everything about my life. I've always believed that you only meet a few people who change your life completely and send you on a path. She was one of them for me, and I've never met anyone like her. We're so compatible in love, but not as much in lust.
It just seems like such a huge waste. Our relationship was truly special, and she is sure of that too.
Do I forget it?
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