those of you who have read my years of pain and misery, i just thought i would give you all an update of late.
last year was the most miserable year. he put me thru so much pain. was not supporting me financial, emotional or physically. and still i held on. my bleeding heart syndrome would not let me give up on my husband even after all he has put me thru. {so much more then i even told you all in my past post}
the last 6 months was horrible. he started going out either friday or saturday and not coming home. i kept trying to "fix" him, support him, whatever. told him he was an alcoholic and he admits to that. and that alcoholism will destroy a family. told him that he needed to go to AA and he refused. saying that all the people he hangs around drink, and if they are all drinking what does that make him?
any how, every weekend he wasnt coming home. but on christmas day we go to mass. and both of us prayed for help with the marriage and for both of us to do the right thing. it was a good good day. back to the way it was in the beginning. and it lasted all of 4 days before he was back acting like an a$$hole.
cue in new years eve, i was working on a new cork floor in my kitchen with my nephews. he comes in and tries to start a fight. saying he thought we would be done already and the tile is ugly and just plain being mean and hateful. he did not offer to help and then went outside for a while. he came in and said he was going for wd40. i was like ok. my friend said he had some in the truck. my ex said he needed more then one can. i didnt catch on. i am a dumba$$ but my friend did. who has ever used more then one can of wd40 on any project? i was like idk. my ex left at 6:30ish 7 and did not return for the rest of the night. i started calling and texting at 8. by 1am i was packing his sh*t. i was nice about it, i folded everything {now i wished i burned it} i finished the divorce packet i got in september. and then i texted him at 7am jan 1 to come pick up his stuff. he did, snunk in and grabbed his boxes and tried to leave with out talking to me.
that day i scheduled an appointment with the notary to sign divorce papers. he never asked me what i put in them, he never asked me what we were going to do with the kids. he lied about not knowing the address where he was staying.
even then, i reached out to him weeks later. to see if he wanted to save 14 years of marriage. he at first said he did, but then he hooked up with some heartless crackhead (feb 9) and hasnt been the same since. SHE tells him what to think, SHE tells him what to say, SHE makes sure we do not spend a second of time alone together to talk. SHE makes all his decision and if he cant tell me the way she wants him to then SHE will call me herself to tell me. After i found out that he had a girlfriend (again, he has done this before when we were separated) i filed the divorce papers the next day. and our divorce was final march 20, 2014.
4 days after my 46 birthday, which btw he texted me Happy BIrthday.
i am still kinda shell shocked. it happened so fast. and sometimes i wonder how TF did i get here. divorced. makes my tummy roll just thinking that word. i would have held on forever, i was one of those women. i dont believe in divorce. i would have stood by my man thru thick and thin. but there is nothing you can do if the other person REFUSES to even try. and there is only is much a person can take.
i think he is weak and spineless and he has been pushing me and pushing me until i got tired. now he tells everyone it is my fault and i did this and i did that. i am so emotional, mentally, and psychically tired that i dont even care. ever once in a while he and his crack***** will go out of their way to make my life miserable. i dont play their games. i just usually ignore them. but it does hurt my heart.
i have been trying to do right for the 2 little boys. they are struggling with the divorce and they still want to see my ex. i think secretly they are hoping this is like the last time we separated for 2 years and that dad will come back home. neither one of them understand what divorce means. my ex does not call me to see the kids, i have to call him and schedule visitations and what not. of course he doesnt tell me anything but he tells the kids. in march before our divorce was even final i asked him not to bring the GF because the boys dont understand. (8 and 12) to please give them time to adjust and it was only 3 months ago they saw us kissing and loving. and if he takes controlling GF he cant give them 100% of his attention and he hasnt seen them for over a month. he couldnt do it. him and the gf just plotted behind my back and of course she was there. he didnt care if i got mad, he didnt care if i took the boys away.
i am only trying to do what is right for the boys. everyone i talked too seems to have every other weekend visits. so that is what i have been doing for the past month and half. every other weekend i text him that he can pick up the boys on sunday. he works on saturdays. the youngest goes to church and catacism as we are going for his first holy communion. i cant rely on my ex to make sure to take him and the child can not miss any days. so i allow my ex to have the boys after catacism until dinnertime at 6. because i know he wont feed them either. he has expressed anger about the schedule and the fact that he only gets them for 2 to 4 hours but he never talks to me and he never says anything when i arrange it. it is only after he picks the kids up that he says anything at all, and i suspect that is his crackhead girlfriend telling him this that makes him mad at me.
i am just trying to move on and keep busy or i think i would go crazy. been divorced 6 weeks and the pain is still fresh. not for him thou, he has had no problem forgetting everything we had and all that i did for him. he is an a$$ about paying his child support and a jerk to me when i text him to come to a soccer game or something.
but at least i am not his doormat anymore. :)
last year was the most miserable year. he put me thru so much pain. was not supporting me financial, emotional or physically. and still i held on. my bleeding heart syndrome would not let me give up on my husband even after all he has put me thru. {so much more then i even told you all in my past post}
the last 6 months was horrible. he started going out either friday or saturday and not coming home. i kept trying to "fix" him, support him, whatever. told him he was an alcoholic and he admits to that. and that alcoholism will destroy a family. told him that he needed to go to AA and he refused. saying that all the people he hangs around drink, and if they are all drinking what does that make him?
any how, every weekend he wasnt coming home. but on christmas day we go to mass. and both of us prayed for help with the marriage and for both of us to do the right thing. it was a good good day. back to the way it was in the beginning. and it lasted all of 4 days before he was back acting like an a$$hole.
cue in new years eve, i was working on a new cork floor in my kitchen with my nephews. he comes in and tries to start a fight. saying he thought we would be done already and the tile is ugly and just plain being mean and hateful. he did not offer to help and then went outside for a while. he came in and said he was going for wd40. i was like ok. my friend said he had some in the truck. my ex said he needed more then one can. i didnt catch on. i am a dumba$$ but my friend did. who has ever used more then one can of wd40 on any project? i was like idk. my ex left at 6:30ish 7 and did not return for the rest of the night. i started calling and texting at 8. by 1am i was packing his sh*t. i was nice about it, i folded everything {now i wished i burned it} i finished the divorce packet i got in september. and then i texted him at 7am jan 1 to come pick up his stuff. he did, snunk in and grabbed his boxes and tried to leave with out talking to me.
that day i scheduled an appointment with the notary to sign divorce papers. he never asked me what i put in them, he never asked me what we were going to do with the kids. he lied about not knowing the address where he was staying.
even then, i reached out to him weeks later. to see if he wanted to save 14 years of marriage. he at first said he did, but then he hooked up with some heartless crackhead (feb 9) and hasnt been the same since. SHE tells him what to think, SHE tells him what to say, SHE makes sure we do not spend a second of time alone together to talk. SHE makes all his decision and if he cant tell me the way she wants him to then SHE will call me herself to tell me. After i found out that he had a girlfriend (again, he has done this before when we were separated) i filed the divorce papers the next day. and our divorce was final march 20, 2014.
4 days after my 46 birthday, which btw he texted me Happy BIrthday.
i am still kinda shell shocked. it happened so fast. and sometimes i wonder how TF did i get here. divorced. makes my tummy roll just thinking that word. i would have held on forever, i was one of those women. i dont believe in divorce. i would have stood by my man thru thick and thin. but there is nothing you can do if the other person REFUSES to even try. and there is only is much a person can take.
i think he is weak and spineless and he has been pushing me and pushing me until i got tired. now he tells everyone it is my fault and i did this and i did that. i am so emotional, mentally, and psychically tired that i dont even care. ever once in a while he and his crack***** will go out of their way to make my life miserable. i dont play their games. i just usually ignore them. but it does hurt my heart.
i have been trying to do right for the 2 little boys. they are struggling with the divorce and they still want to see my ex. i think secretly they are hoping this is like the last time we separated for 2 years and that dad will come back home. neither one of them understand what divorce means. my ex does not call me to see the kids, i have to call him and schedule visitations and what not. of course he doesnt tell me anything but he tells the kids. in march before our divorce was even final i asked him not to bring the GF because the boys dont understand. (8 and 12) to please give them time to adjust and it was only 3 months ago they saw us kissing and loving. and if he takes controlling GF he cant give them 100% of his attention and he hasnt seen them for over a month. he couldnt do it. him and the gf just plotted behind my back and of course she was there. he didnt care if i got mad, he didnt care if i took the boys away.
i am only trying to do what is right for the boys. everyone i talked too seems to have every other weekend visits. so that is what i have been doing for the past month and half. every other weekend i text him that he can pick up the boys on sunday. he works on saturdays. the youngest goes to church and catacism as we are going for his first holy communion. i cant rely on my ex to make sure to take him and the child can not miss any days. so i allow my ex to have the boys after catacism until dinnertime at 6. because i know he wont feed them either. he has expressed anger about the schedule and the fact that he only gets them for 2 to 4 hours but he never talks to me and he never says anything when i arrange it. it is only after he picks the kids up that he says anything at all, and i suspect that is his crackhead girlfriend telling him this that makes him mad at me.
i am just trying to move on and keep busy or i think i would go crazy. been divorced 6 weeks and the pain is still fresh. not for him thou, he has had no problem forgetting everything we had and all that i did for him. he is an a$$ about paying his child support and a jerk to me when i text him to come to a soccer game or something.
but at least i am not his doormat anymore. :)
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