So about 2 months ago my husband got a DUI - he told me he was out with a friend (guy) and that he felt fine and only had 3 blocks to go so drove to his friends house where he intended to spend the night (I always insist that he NOT drive if he drinks) anyway he got pulled over in the friends driveway and was given a DUI. He went to jail for the night. I am disappointed, angry, ashamed and embarrassed.
A few days go by and we go to meet with a lawyer - the lawyer asked if his friend/passenger would be willing to testify at which point he said that 'they" would. THEY? Who's they? He neglected to tell me that there was also a girl in the car.....he told the lawyer she was an old friend of his friend. He never mentioned a woman being with them.
I got suspicious just because of the omission. So yes, I checked his phone a few days later and saw a message to her, telling her about a job. I also noticed he 'friended' her on FB. I noticed that she was the same age as him and they went to school together (the guy he was with is 7 years older and did not go to school with either of them) so by now I am thinking she was probably not an old friend of the guy he was with but an old friend of his!
My husband has to go to Chicago in about a month, his license will be suspended during that time. He initially asked me to go with him and be his chauffer during the 3 days he would be there. I told him I would have to drop him off because we have 2 small kids in school and that he would have to grab a cab to get around or ride with a classmate. But we have some time to think about it. A couple weeks ago he told me not to worry about it and that he would find someone to ride with that was going to the same class.
He has been very weird with his phone, keeping it on silent or keeping it on him - he used to have the type of ring that would announce the caller and he would leave it on the counter over night -not any more.
I went into his fb and saw a message to her asking her to let him know when she would like to take a look at the cabin (we have a remote cabin on 40 acres that we rent each year) and then also another telling her he was going to Chicago and if she could 'pencil him in' she replied 'LOL, ill see what I can do'....
I haven't seen anything else for a couple of weeks. A couple of days ago I counted his condoms (we use them during my fertile days) there were 8. We have had sex twice but did not need to use any. Tonight he went out to meet up with his brother, after he left I went upstairs - there are only 4 !! Oh and he told me he was probably going to stay at his brothers since he now has a zero tolerance rule for drinking/driving (NOW HE DECIDES TO LISTEN TO ME)
I am not a confrontational person at all, unfortunately I tend to just go with the flow, what do I do now? We have 2 children that ADORE him, they run to greet him every evening. We have had some issues in the past, he claims I don't give him enough sex - we are in our 40's and have been married over 10 years - up until 2 years ago we averaged 3-4 times per week and now it has gone down some to 2-3 times per week. I suggested counseling last year but he declined initially and then was very patronizing saying that maybe we should do it that it would be fun and he laughed.....
I guess for me it is scary to think that I could quite possibly spend the rest of my life alone .....the dating pool for women my age where I live is non-existent and quite frankly the idea repulses me at this point. So what now?
A few days go by and we go to meet with a lawyer - the lawyer asked if his friend/passenger would be willing to testify at which point he said that 'they" would. THEY? Who's they? He neglected to tell me that there was also a girl in the car.....he told the lawyer she was an old friend of his friend. He never mentioned a woman being with them.
I got suspicious just because of the omission. So yes, I checked his phone a few days later and saw a message to her, telling her about a job. I also noticed he 'friended' her on FB. I noticed that she was the same age as him and they went to school together (the guy he was with is 7 years older and did not go to school with either of them) so by now I am thinking she was probably not an old friend of the guy he was with but an old friend of his!
My husband has to go to Chicago in about a month, his license will be suspended during that time. He initially asked me to go with him and be his chauffer during the 3 days he would be there. I told him I would have to drop him off because we have 2 small kids in school and that he would have to grab a cab to get around or ride with a classmate. But we have some time to think about it. A couple weeks ago he told me not to worry about it and that he would find someone to ride with that was going to the same class.
He has been very weird with his phone, keeping it on silent or keeping it on him - he used to have the type of ring that would announce the caller and he would leave it on the counter over night -not any more.
I went into his fb and saw a message to her asking her to let him know when she would like to take a look at the cabin (we have a remote cabin on 40 acres that we rent each year) and then also another telling her he was going to Chicago and if she could 'pencil him in' she replied 'LOL, ill see what I can do'....
I haven't seen anything else for a couple of weeks. A couple of days ago I counted his condoms (we use them during my fertile days) there were 8. We have had sex twice but did not need to use any. Tonight he went out to meet up with his brother, after he left I went upstairs - there are only 4 !! Oh and he told me he was probably going to stay at his brothers since he now has a zero tolerance rule for drinking/driving (NOW HE DECIDES TO LISTEN TO ME)
I am not a confrontational person at all, unfortunately I tend to just go with the flow, what do I do now? We have 2 children that ADORE him, they run to greet him every evening. We have had some issues in the past, he claims I don't give him enough sex - we are in our 40's and have been married over 10 years - up until 2 years ago we averaged 3-4 times per week and now it has gone down some to 2-3 times per week. I suggested counseling last year but he declined initially and then was very patronizing saying that maybe we should do it that it would be fun and he laughed.....
I guess for me it is scary to think that I could quite possibly spend the rest of my life alone .....the dating pool for women my age where I live is non-existent and quite frankly the idea repulses me at this point. So what now?
Put the internet to work for you.
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