I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for here because I'm not sure that my situation is ever going to change... maybe I just need to vent or maybe I'm hoping someone can give me some perspective. Either way, I welcome your input.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We are both in our late 20's and I can't stand the fact that he's obsessed with video games. First let me say that I hate video games (he's probably contributed to my hatred of them). I personally think they're a mindless waste of time. Frankly, I think it's odd when grown-ass men sit around and play them all day. That's just my opinion.
I know that video games have always been something that he's enjoyed doing. When we first started dating, I don't think he played hardly at all. I guess it's common for us to put aside our hobbies when we begin a new relationship, but as the honeymoon stage wore off, he started playing games more and more and eventually led to arguments. Now on his days off, I will come home from work to find him playing games. He's still playing an hour later when I leave to go to the gym, and then I come home a couple of hours later to find him still in the same spot playing games. It's ridiculous. It does't stop there though... he has a hand held gaming system that he takes with him if we go somewhere and he's going to be waiting. He even takes it on vacation. It's like a small child... he has to have something to entertain himself constantly. He has a headset with a microphone that he wears to communicate with other players. When he's not playing a game, he's on his phone chatting with hi s Facebook group of fellow gamers. The Google history constantly has game related searches. One time we hadn't seen each other in a few days because of our work schedules so I thought we could watch a movie together - he was reluctant because Sony was broadcasting some silly press conference. He called in to work the day after the new Playstation was released because he had been up for 24 hours. I could probably go on....
I'll be honest and admit that I'm jealous of video games because they truly seem to be his favorite thing right now. Earlier in our marriage I came up with a "rule" that he could play when I wasn't home but when I was home, I expected it to be "us" time. This seemed fair because we have different work schedules and so there were lots of times that he was home alone and could get in his precious gaming time. Well, my husband is like a kid - if you give him an inch, he takes a mile. I now find that he looks for any opportunity even when I'm home to play. I recently started graduate school and so I have lots of homework. The moment I get my homework out, he's glued to the game controller. I can't really say anything because I'm busy, so why should I care? But I do. Now I'm lucky if he even get up to greet me when I get home from work. Sometimes I feel like we're moving in different directions in life. I'm trying to earn my Masters degree and better my future (he never finished c ollege) and he's excited because he earned a "trophy" on his game. It makes me very sad. Sometimes, I feel like his mother. The other day, I heard him tell his friend through his headset "She finished her homework so I have to get off now."
This is going to sound terrible, but when I come home and see my husband sitting in his chair with this silly game headset on, I find myself less attracted to him. I think "What a loser. Who is this guy I married?" I love him dearly but the video games definitely haven't done our marriage any favors.
The games have led to many arguments. He's well aware of how I feel and has made it clear that it's just my opinion. He doesn't see this as a problem in our marriage, he only sees it as a problem that I have. Anymore I try to choose my battles when it comes to the games because I end up getting extremely upset. Nothing ever gets resolved. I truly don't think he'll ever give them up.
I realize that I've said a lot of negative things about my husband and I do want to add in the positives. He's generally a very loving person. He has a good work ethic and rarely misses work (minus calling in for the PS release), so he's not a complete bum. If I ask him to do something around the house, he generally does without complaint.
In closing, I truly do realize that everyone needs a hobby. I honestly doubt I would mind the games if he only played here and there but that's not the case. My spare time is usually filled with working out and graduate school. Maybe I have no right to resent his hobby but I still just can't help but to feel like it's such a waste of time. Feel free to share your thoughts.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We are both in our late 20's and I can't stand the fact that he's obsessed with video games. First let me say that I hate video games (he's probably contributed to my hatred of them). I personally think they're a mindless waste of time. Frankly, I think it's odd when grown-ass men sit around and play them all day. That's just my opinion.
I know that video games have always been something that he's enjoyed doing. When we first started dating, I don't think he played hardly at all. I guess it's common for us to put aside our hobbies when we begin a new relationship, but as the honeymoon stage wore off, he started playing games more and more and eventually led to arguments. Now on his days off, I will come home from work to find him playing games. He's still playing an hour later when I leave to go to the gym, and then I come home a couple of hours later to find him still in the same spot playing games. It's ridiculous. It does't stop there though... he has a hand held gaming system that he takes with him if we go somewhere and he's going to be waiting. He even takes it on vacation. It's like a small child... he has to have something to entertain himself constantly. He has a headset with a microphone that he wears to communicate with other players. When he's not playing a game, he's on his phone chatting with hi s Facebook group of fellow gamers. The Google history constantly has game related searches. One time we hadn't seen each other in a few days because of our work schedules so I thought we could watch a movie together - he was reluctant because Sony was broadcasting some silly press conference. He called in to work the day after the new Playstation was released because he had been up for 24 hours. I could probably go on....
I'll be honest and admit that I'm jealous of video games because they truly seem to be his favorite thing right now. Earlier in our marriage I came up with a "rule" that he could play when I wasn't home but when I was home, I expected it to be "us" time. This seemed fair because we have different work schedules and so there were lots of times that he was home alone and could get in his precious gaming time. Well, my husband is like a kid - if you give him an inch, he takes a mile. I now find that he looks for any opportunity even when I'm home to play. I recently started graduate school and so I have lots of homework. The moment I get my homework out, he's glued to the game controller. I can't really say anything because I'm busy, so why should I care? But I do. Now I'm lucky if he even get up to greet me when I get home from work. Sometimes I feel like we're moving in different directions in life. I'm trying to earn my Masters degree and better my future (he never finished c ollege) and he's excited because he earned a "trophy" on his game. It makes me very sad. Sometimes, I feel like his mother. The other day, I heard him tell his friend through his headset "She finished her homework so I have to get off now."
This is going to sound terrible, but when I come home and see my husband sitting in his chair with this silly game headset on, I find myself less attracted to him. I think "What a loser. Who is this guy I married?" I love him dearly but the video games definitely haven't done our marriage any favors.
The games have led to many arguments. He's well aware of how I feel and has made it clear that it's just my opinion. He doesn't see this as a problem in our marriage, he only sees it as a problem that I have. Anymore I try to choose my battles when it comes to the games because I end up getting extremely upset. Nothing ever gets resolved. I truly don't think he'll ever give them up.
I realize that I've said a lot of negative things about my husband and I do want to add in the positives. He's generally a very loving person. He has a good work ethic and rarely misses work (minus calling in for the PS release), so he's not a complete bum. If I ask him to do something around the house, he generally does without complaint.
In closing, I truly do realize that everyone needs a hobby. I honestly doubt I would mind the games if he only played here and there but that's not the case. My spare time is usually filled with working out and graduate school. Maybe I have no right to resent his hobby but I still just can't help but to feel like it's such a waste of time. Feel free to share your thoughts.
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