There's a person in my friendship group who is like this. On the surface they are extremely charming and vivacious to many who know them but I've always felt deeply uncomfortable around them for one reason or another. I've tried to rationalize their behaviour many times but I can no longer deny that the person completely puts me on edge and I don't want to be around them any more.
What's odd is that when I met them initially I instantly had an extremely visceral reaction of dislike towards them which is a very rare occurence for me, and although after getting to know said person for a bit and thus initially thinking that my first impressions were wrong, as time goes on I get the feeling that something is not quite right. I don't think this is a question of jealousy on my behalf before anyone mentions because I have genuinely tried to look past my initial feelings only to return to similar conclusions and it would be foolish to keep dismissing these feelings.
A bit about said person:
All these things are so subtle that it's difficult to put into words or actually pinpoint the negative feelings.
What do you think?
PS we're both girls
What's odd is that when I met them initially I instantly had an extremely visceral reaction of dislike towards them which is a very rare occurence for me, and although after getting to know said person for a bit and thus initially thinking that my first impressions were wrong, as time goes on I get the feeling that something is not quite right. I don't think this is a question of jealousy on my behalf before anyone mentions because I have genuinely tried to look past my initial feelings only to return to similar conclusions and it would be foolish to keep dismissing these feelings.
A bit about said person:
Spoiler:
Said person is very charming and vivacious and seemingly has many friends/aquaintances. They appear to 'care' about people in the sense that they involve themselves into the problems of many and have mentioned many times that 'they care about their friends' but this always comes accross as in-genuine for some reason. They sometimes ask me if there's something wrong because I supposedly look upset but when I tell them there isn't they persist in their questioning and eventually give up but not before making some sort of passive-aggressive remark (which is an odd thing for a friend to do).
In any conversations that I've had with them they always seem to talk about how they are a victim in one situation or another and seem to speak patronisingly/dismissively or spins my words when I mention any of my problems, and have often made patronising put-downs to me in front of other people as 'jokes'.
They often make back-handed compliments to me mainly about my looks, but never agree or look pleased when others give me compliments about the way I look or dress (although they don't actively disagree either). Once or twice in passing conversation they've mentioned how 'ugly' they look/are (which is not the case might I add) but that doesn't stop them from posting many photos on social networking sites
There are many more things which I can't rememeber atm
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Said person is very charming and vivacious and seemingly has many friends/aquaintances. They appear to 'care' about people in the sense that they involve themselves into the problems of many and have mentioned many times that 'they care about their friends' but this always comes accross as in-genuine for some reason. They sometimes ask me if there's something wrong because I supposedly look upset but when I tell them there isn't they persist in their questioning and eventually give up but not before making some sort of passive-aggressive remark (which is an odd thing for a friend to do).
In any conversations that I've had with them they always seem to talk about how they are a victim in one situation or another and seem to speak patronisingly/dismissively or spins my words when I mention any of my problems, and have often made patronising put-downs to me in front of other people as 'jokes'.
They often make back-handed compliments to me mainly about my looks, but never agree or look pleased when others give me compliments about the way I look or dress (although they don't actively disagree either). Once or twice in passing conversation they've mentioned how 'ugly' they look/are (which is not the case might I add) but that doesn't stop them from posting many photos on social networking sites
There are many more things which I can't rememeber atm
All these things are so subtle that it's difficult to put into words or actually pinpoint the negative feelings.
What do you think?
PS we're both girls
Put the internet to work for you.
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