| Hi I really need advice on what to do :( I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, we're really happy and he's a great guy. I lost my virginity to him before Christmas and the sex wasn't great but I wasn't expecting it to be because it was my first time. However the physical side of our relationship hasn't improved, he gets hard quickly but no matter what he can only finish with his hand and I rarely orgasm. I thought the problem was me because I didn't have any experience before him, whereas he'd slept with his previous gf before. I've asked him if it's me but he keeps saying he doesn't know what's the matter with him and then he looks upset about it so I have to tell him it's ok and not a big deal. He's overweight and I wondered if he was just nervous and low in confidence because he always says to me that I could do better than him even though I wouldn't trade him for anything. I love him to bits but I feel worse every time we sleep together and it's rubbish. Anyway I get that most guys look at porn but I found out this weekend that he has a real obsession with it. I spent the weekend at his house with his family. We had sex but he kept going soft and we gave up. Then on the Saturday evening he was sitting next to me with his phone and I saw a lot of google searches for porn sites, which didn't bother me too much until I was playing a game on his phone and I looked through his history, which I know was wrong but I almost knew what I'd find. Every day there were loads and I mean hundreds, of records of the same video over again and on one day he'd looked at about five clips over a hundred times. He could see from my face that I was upset and I said "I think you have a problem". He came clean and said that he feels he has an obsession but he's gonna stop now. I said porn was something most guys look at but what bothers me is how excessive he is with it and the fact that I think it's spoiled things physically with our relationship. He said he's ashamed but I don't think he can change. He keeps saying he loves me and couldn't live without me. i thought i was special to him but now I feel really upset because part of me now feels that he doesn't need a girlfriend and that ill never be enough for him; the porn seems such a big part of his life. I love him to bits but I now feel like sex with me is never gonna compare to his endless porn. He said he doesn't want to lose me over something as silly as porn and he isn't going to look at it now, I don't believe him but I just hope he can cut back. If certain aspects of the relationship don't improve then I think we'll have to end it, in every other way we have a great relationship but it's really bothered me and I feel like I'm secondary to porn because he can't finish unless he's using his hand and he can't please me either. Has anyone ever experienced something like this? Any advice? :( | |||
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