Hey all. I ended up taking a full sabbatical from the 'net for a few months after finding out some information regarding the ex-wife. A good friend of mine happened to be in the same Facebook group that she was in, for mental health support. What she caught, was my ex not only vilifying me with utter falsehoods all over the board(while we still together, no less), to documenting my emotional roller-coaster and my flaming tail-spin for all to see, laughter and glee included. I was shocked. I even hit full-denial, thinking that it was completely impossible for her to lie about me, about us. So, in my absence, I took up some intensive self-hypnosis and meditation. After my mind was cleared, I'd go back through the last six and a half years of our relationship, and found that not a lot of the pieces fit. So, I delved deeper into our 13 year friendship. Not a lot matching up either. After sitting down at the park, doing my normal Kuji-Kiri("Nine Hands Cutting") routine pre-meditation, it dawned on me. I married a pathological liar. She was confronted about this on Monday. Attempted to deflect the entire conversation. Used screenshotted evidence, sent from my friend. She had nowhere to turn. She admitted it. All of it. As a result, I told her that because she lied the entire time, she clearly never existed, and since she never existed, there's no possible way that we were friends, because my friend wasn't my friend at all. Just like we couldn't have dated, because the person I gave my heart to was never there. Just like we were never married, because the wife I pledged my life to was fully synthetic. We had a LONG conversation following the execution of our friendship, which I pulled the trigger on. She's bombing out of college. She had a short relationship with somebody who was just using her as a diversion because he and his girlfriend were on break. Her life is starting to crumble, because she will soon have to pay off a student loan that she has no money for. But the biggest admission of all, was this... "You were always supportive and always in my corner. And all I did was hurt you. Nothing will take that back, but I am sorry. Told her that the damage was done, that I no longer see the woman of my dreams when I see pictures of her. I told her that my level of trust for her has been shattered beyond repair, so far that I even began to second-guess and re-evaluate EVERY friendship I ever had. Never. Again. Facebook pictures have been deleted. Letters? Torched. Her? Unfriended. It's now been two days since. I spent a sleepless Monday night reading over every post on my Facebook, ones where I proudly proclaimed how lucky I was to have such an amazing wife. Posts of our infinite endless jokes, with comments from our friends and family of how wonderful of a couple we were. Posts on my wall from her stating that she'd be late coming home, but was planning on picking up dinner on the way. Posts sent to hers telling her that her day will get better, that I love her, and the cats are rooting for her. Closing the coffin that was our 13 year friendship hurt. Kate came at a very dark time in my life where I had basically given up on people altogether. Somehow, she became that tiny sliver of hope that I had, and I hung onto it like a lifeline. To know that somebody who was so dear to me that I would give my life for her could turn out to be a total fake hurt me more than the separation ever did. Next month will be one year. As for me? I've become rather flirtatious with an old classmate from high school, and she's been reciprocating it. Might give it a try when the opportunity arises. I hope you all have been well. Thanks for reading this update. | |||
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That's all, folks!
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