Leading a double life is starting to become really emotionally draining!

Hi guys :) I'm a uni graduate looking for work and to make a long story short, am also working temporarily as a "prostitute light" (as in I don't offer full service, only massing with hand relief, sometimes Spanish depending - not that it matters :p: ) - don't worry, I'm a happy one ;) I've been bullied for most of my life and have been a victim of sexual and psychological abuse for most of my adult life, so am currently living it up for once and enjoying my life :D I work in a very nice place so it's all good. Anyway the thing that has been bothering me the most is that I've been doing this for almost a year now, and while the money has been great - paid off my degrees and car outright, nice holidays etc - I'm getting over the lying! It's really frustrating. Because I've got in the habit of lying, I find I sometimes overdo to the point where I've been caught out a few times (e.g. saying I was going to a certain club, and the ex-boyfriend going there but not actually seeing me there and confronting me about lying etc. He was controlling tho so I'm glad that's over:rolleyes: ). But even with girl friends. I hate lying to them cos when they ask questions it gets more obvious. I'm trying to save up enough funds so that I can altogether quit and focus on something else to do part-time outside work hours, probably tutoring. I feel like such a crap person with all the lying I'm doing, but I know I'm a good person deep down. What are some strategies you'd recommend to help me? E.g. Maybe starting to be brave and tell ppl to mind their own business? Thanks :) xx

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