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Feelin' Mighty Old

I'm not really sure where to post this, in the Sex Forum or in the Mental Health Forum or in the Grief Forum. I think my problem is a little bit of each.

My wife died of cancer in July 2013. I've been alone ever since. I'm 56 now.

Even in the final years leading up to her death at 58, there was not much affection and very little sex in our marriage. I honestly can trace this back to her hysterectomy, when intercourse became impossible. (The MDs said taking hormone replacements might make her tumors come back, or something to that effect.)

I accepted that my sex life was pretty much over. I honestly never believed I would have 15+ years of highly enjoyable sex with a beautiful woman. I was very uninhibited with my wife and it gave me great joy and satisfaction giving her sexual pleasure. Now that the horror of her death has worn off a bit I think much more often about the wonderful times we had together.

I don't know if I can really go the rest of my life without sex. Yet women my own age really don't interest me. I'm just not aroused by women my own age or older. At least none of the women I have met thus far.

I go to my local tavern every Friday night for fish fry and beers. It's a Wisconsin thing. Taverns are packed on Friday nights with hordes of hungry people dying for fresh deep-fried perch, potato pancakes, coleslaw and cold beer.

There are, of course, a number of young and very attractive women who tend bar and serve up fish fries at the tavern. I think they are amused by us old geezers who show up on Friday night, and quite frankly, a lot of us are alone. How else are we ever going to meet and talk to pretty 20 something young women? And in this particular tavern, us old men tend to "behave ourselves" and don't say anything "dirty" to the young women.

I find myself "fantasizing" about these young women.

Based upon the tent I wake up in every morning, I'm pretty sure that everything is "still functional" down there. I don't have to take any little blue pills (yet).

So I'm just a "dirty old pig" for being aroused by these young women hey? I should just accept the fact that I have to find a woman my own age. Or maybe I should just forget about the whole thing and watch porno on the internet like everybody else does?

It's just brutal being 56 and alone.

I never thought it would come to this.

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