I just feel like I want to spill all my emotions and love and have feelings for someone but I have no one to feel it towards. I want to feel butterflies and an emotional attachment to someone at this moment but I dont feel it. I'm not even close with family or friends so can't use them as emotional comfort either.
Stupid thing is I feel like I'm preventing myself from it since I've friendzoned like 3 guys but they just were not my type and its not like they were the "quiet nice guys" either (well one of them was), one of was a douchey/player type (although not to me) and the other was just couldn't make me laugh (mostly serious and deep) and I dig that in a guy. Point is nobody has made me feel butterflies or that "crush" feeling and I really crave it.
Except one guy but he doesn't like me like that as we are part of a small group of close friends so I've given up on that and have just accepted our close friendship. Although I think its because I cant get him that I want him so bad. Not sure.
I've tried filling this empty feeling with sex and messing with guys but its not the same, I just don't feel that emotional attachment. Its more manipulation and control which is a nice feeling as well but just not the same.
Also I keep going back to childhood to try and regain this feeling. Even though there is not much in my childhood that gave me a good emotional feeling (messy/not normal childhood). I keep listening to old songs (soundtracks from movies I used to watch) and drinking Ribena. It hasnt helped me though, if anything its made me crave for this emotional comfort even more.
Where do I get this emotional comfort?
Thanks.
Put the internet to work for you.
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