Hello all, long time browser first time poster. Unfortunately I've had to join the form because I have a strong suspicion that my wife maybe having an affair on me.
The story starts about a year ago when my wife accepted a new job with a new company. As part of the on boarding process she was paired with a male coworker to learn a specific job function. Part of this new job involved working very closely with this man on a very intense and time-consuming project.
My wife and this man became fast friends, And as it turns out he was unhappily married with a child. This man's wife turned out to be incredibly jealous and extremely Suspicious that her husband and my wife were having an affair.
At the time I found this to be incredibly hilarious because my wife and I have been best friends for the last 20 years and she is the most loyal person I have ever met.
Eventually through coaxing from my wife this coworker ended up filing for divorce from his wife because quite frankly she was crazy. After their separation began, her work moved to a new building. During this transition for about three months, her department was ordered to work from home. It is during this time that the time-intensive project was underway.
It was not unusual for the two of them working from our home to be up in till two or 3 o'clock in the morning. This somewhat annoyed me, because I would be asleep in the next room. I tried to be as understanding as possible, with my wife staying up until all hours of the morning with another man while I slept.
I was not really suspicious of anything until one night, she was legitimately visiting some friends of ours and I went to bed prior to her arriving home. I woke up at around 1:30 AM to discover that she wasn't here. I freaked out a bit thinking something might be wrong, but intuition told me she was at the other man's house. I texted her asking if she was ok, and she confirmed that she was where I thought she was, stating that she didn't want to wake me. There was apparently some emergency with work and she stopped by his place (which is close to our friend's) to assist. I was livid to the point of shaking, but I said nothing.
Over the next few weeks and months, I started to notice some changes in her behavior. For one, she never used to take her phone to the bathroom with her, however now this a regular thing. I noticed that she always has her phone by her side, but when she's at his house (either working or dropping him off since they carpool) there is a significant delay in her answering my texts.
Other behavior changes include obvious increase in care for appearance (my wife never used to wear makeup or if she did, hardly any at all) and perhaps most disturbing of all, changes in how she shaves her pubic hair. This used to be something that she only did immediately before us having sex (almost always on the weekend) but now she does this on the days where she is driving, meaning she has extended time alone with him in the evenings.
All of these things increased my suspicion, and of course I have managed to glean some information from her directly without outright accusing her of anything. One night when we were both drunk, she told me that he pays a lot of attention and compliments to her, and that she's having her cake and eating it too, so to speak. Additionally, she informs me that he has told her that he loves her, and she does her best to shut him down.
We have had our problems; the romance wore off, my job caused me to be unhappy, I started drinking more than I should, and I generally stopped treating her like an attractive woman to whom I'm married, and more like a roommate.
Sex became formulaic (every three months on a Sunday) and I constantly felt rejected. For a couple of months after all this started, we were having sex twice or more a week which usually was preceded with copious alcohol ingestion on both parts. This soon stopped however, and it is back to status quo. We talked about or issues, identified them, and seemed to be working on them, but her behavior hasn't really changed.
They text each other good night and good morning every single day (which I expressed my displeasure with and it stopped, for a while). Looking at the phone bill, they text more than 2,000 times a month. This got me curious, so I started digging. She deletes their text convos every day. She emails him pictures of her outfits (this has been going on for months) and selfies (which she never used to take) seemingly for validation. On days she drives, they leave the office earlier than would be reasonably expected based on her schedule and go straight to his house, where they spend anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours. She doesn't tell me she's leaving and of course doesn't answer my texts while she's there.
I know I haven't been perfect, but damn, this seems like a mountain of circumstantial evidence. I'm almost to the point of buying a VAR and using teen safe or some such to justify a downright accusation. I feel sick.
The story starts about a year ago when my wife accepted a new job with a new company. As part of the on boarding process she was paired with a male coworker to learn a specific job function. Part of this new job involved working very closely with this man on a very intense and time-consuming project.
My wife and this man became fast friends, And as it turns out he was unhappily married with a child. This man's wife turned out to be incredibly jealous and extremely Suspicious that her husband and my wife were having an affair.
At the time I found this to be incredibly hilarious because my wife and I have been best friends for the last 20 years and she is the most loyal person I have ever met.
Eventually through coaxing from my wife this coworker ended up filing for divorce from his wife because quite frankly she was crazy. After their separation began, her work moved to a new building. During this transition for about three months, her department was ordered to work from home. It is during this time that the time-intensive project was underway.
It was not unusual for the two of them working from our home to be up in till two or 3 o'clock in the morning. This somewhat annoyed me, because I would be asleep in the next room. I tried to be as understanding as possible, with my wife staying up until all hours of the morning with another man while I slept.
I was not really suspicious of anything until one night, she was legitimately visiting some friends of ours and I went to bed prior to her arriving home. I woke up at around 1:30 AM to discover that she wasn't here. I freaked out a bit thinking something might be wrong, but intuition told me she was at the other man's house. I texted her asking if she was ok, and she confirmed that she was where I thought she was, stating that she didn't want to wake me. There was apparently some emergency with work and she stopped by his place (which is close to our friend's) to assist. I was livid to the point of shaking, but I said nothing.
Over the next few weeks and months, I started to notice some changes in her behavior. For one, she never used to take her phone to the bathroom with her, however now this a regular thing. I noticed that she always has her phone by her side, but when she's at his house (either working or dropping him off since they carpool) there is a significant delay in her answering my texts.
Other behavior changes include obvious increase in care for appearance (my wife never used to wear makeup or if she did, hardly any at all) and perhaps most disturbing of all, changes in how she shaves her pubic hair. This used to be something that she only did immediately before us having sex (almost always on the weekend) but now she does this on the days where she is driving, meaning she has extended time alone with him in the evenings.
All of these things increased my suspicion, and of course I have managed to glean some information from her directly without outright accusing her of anything. One night when we were both drunk, she told me that he pays a lot of attention and compliments to her, and that she's having her cake and eating it too, so to speak. Additionally, she informs me that he has told her that he loves her, and she does her best to shut him down.
We have had our problems; the romance wore off, my job caused me to be unhappy, I started drinking more than I should, and I generally stopped treating her like an attractive woman to whom I'm married, and more like a roommate.
Sex became formulaic (every three months on a Sunday) and I constantly felt rejected. For a couple of months after all this started, we were having sex twice or more a week which usually was preceded with copious alcohol ingestion on both parts. This soon stopped however, and it is back to status quo. We talked about or issues, identified them, and seemed to be working on them, but her behavior hasn't really changed.
They text each other good night and good morning every single day (which I expressed my displeasure with and it stopped, for a while). Looking at the phone bill, they text more than 2,000 times a month. This got me curious, so I started digging. She deletes their text convos every day. She emails him pictures of her outfits (this has been going on for months) and selfies (which she never used to take) seemingly for validation. On days she drives, they leave the office earlier than would be reasonably expected based on her schedule and go straight to his house, where they spend anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours. She doesn't tell me she's leaving and of course doesn't answer my texts while she's there.
I know I haven't been perfect, but damn, this seems like a mountain of circumstantial evidence. I'm almost to the point of buying a VAR and using teen safe or some such to justify a downright accusation. I feel sick.
Put the internet to work for you.
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