Different Goals and Values

I am new to this forum so please bear with me. My wife and I have been together for about 6-7 years. We have been married for 3. We have two kids, an 8 month old and a 9 year old. The 9 year old is from my first marriage. A little history. We started off as a affair as both of us were married and for a time I had broken it off with her during my divorce from my first wife in order for me to try and figure things out. We ended up getting back together however it was rocky. She had started seeing someone new and at the time didn't want to be exclusive with just me. In all honesty at the time I should have just let her go as I look back I was far from recovering emotionally from my first marriage and I still had a lot of baggage to work out. But hind sight is 20/20 right? She eventually broke it off with other guy and we became exclusive. We moved in together and eventually got married. During our dating period I always catered to her because I felt guilty f or breaking it off with her while I was getting divorced. She constantly reminded me of that so I was constantly bending over backwards to "make up for that". When I would ask her to come out with my friends she would always say she didn't want to go so we would stay home. Or when I would go without her she would get mad so I stopped doing those things for the sake of argument. I started to feel really depressed (part of my baggage) and so it made it even harder to figure out what I wanted in life. As the years have gone on I started to really get back into the things I shelved for the longest time. I was always more of a "party guy". I liked to stay out later and loved riding motorcycles and the like. She is more of a home body and was never really comfortable on bikes....at least it is not a lifestyle for her the that it is for me. Around the time our son was born was about the time I really started pushing back against our differences and it has really started to cause a lot of conflict. I am wanting to connect with more of my old friends who ride motorcycles. Some of them have families and yet they manage to really make it work. My wife wants nothing to do with it and she feels it doesn't fit in with her family values. Our groups of friends are at two different ends of the spectrum and want to go do completely different things so we fight about how we are going to spend our time. I know that seems trivial but it is a symptom of a much greater issue.

The way I am feeling right now is that I don't love her anymore. I have drifted away from her and I don't know how to get back or even if I want to get back. I am not feeling fulfilled in my life and I feel like she is holding me back from that. Not because she is a bad person but because our values and life goals are so different. I am feeling like I want to be alone to really figure things out...the way I should have 6 years ago.....

I know this may have been long winded and I am not sure if I even made my point or posed a question...but I am hoping that if I reach out perhaps someone knows where I am coming from and can give some advice.

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