So as the title says I feel like giving up. I don't even know where to begin but at the moment things are not good at all. One of the biggest things is that I don't feel attracted to my husband anymore. In 5 weeks we have had sex 3 times. During that time I made all the plans to have a sexy overnight stay away from the children so we could really connect romantically(first time away from the children in 2 years). That didn't workout at all...it felt like I was hanging out with a friend and we didn't have sex...I know sex isn't everything in a marriage but we both have high sex drives and I know its causing tension.If he had things his way we would have sex every single day but I just don't feel that way I am actually really worried that one day I'll be attracted to someone else and something might happen.
The other things are that I am not sure if I have changed as a person and he has stayed the same. He doesn't have any interests outside of the house and has no friends. He prefers to do everything together and as a family except for work. I have said to him many times over the years that he needs to do something for himself and that it's healthy for our relationship so we have more to talk about. I am wanting to hang out with my girlfriends, exercise, start new hobbies....I want more than just being a mum and a wife and being at home 24/7. I've said to him also that he needs to start doing little things for himself as he needs to give himself some independence like chose his own clothing, learn to do online banking, do exercise? He is just not interested...I do pretty much everything for him.
He doesn't watch what he says and can be very nasty towards other people. I took a cute pic of him and the girls and he got angry and said he would smash my f'ing phone if I didn't delete the picture and the day before that he got very angry at my 6 year old for not helping with the 1.5 year old when she hurt herself and she was hysterical and scared for her life . I remember thinking that I will never have sex with him again. He gets annoyed even with his own family. If anyone comes between us and the kids he gets cranky. He has done this type of thing a lot but only since we have been married.
I've tried marriage counselling, self help books and discussions and I've threatened to leave...but things only change for a short while. I feel like I am constantly going around in circles trying to make things work....but now I've just had enough.
I am sorry if this has come across as venting but I am really not sure what to do. I look forward to hearing from you all. Thanks for reading.
The other things are that I am not sure if I have changed as a person and he has stayed the same. He doesn't have any interests outside of the house and has no friends. He prefers to do everything together and as a family except for work. I have said to him many times over the years that he needs to do something for himself and that it's healthy for our relationship so we have more to talk about. I am wanting to hang out with my girlfriends, exercise, start new hobbies....I want more than just being a mum and a wife and being at home 24/7. I've said to him also that he needs to start doing little things for himself as he needs to give himself some independence like chose his own clothing, learn to do online banking, do exercise? He is just not interested...I do pretty much everything for him.
He doesn't watch what he says and can be very nasty towards other people. I took a cute pic of him and the girls and he got angry and said he would smash my f'ing phone if I didn't delete the picture and the day before that he got very angry at my 6 year old for not helping with the 1.5 year old when she hurt herself and she was hysterical and scared for her life . I remember thinking that I will never have sex with him again. He gets annoyed even with his own family. If anyone comes between us and the kids he gets cranky. He has done this type of thing a lot but only since we have been married.
I've tried marriage counselling, self help books and discussions and I've threatened to leave...but things only change for a short while. I feel like I am constantly going around in circles trying to make things work....but now I've just had enough.
I am sorry if this has come across as venting but I am really not sure what to do. I look forward to hearing from you all. Thanks for reading.
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