I've said before that it would probably be easier if my H just found another woman but it's really, really not.
This is night 2 of not sleeping so I need to just get it out.
It started a week ago Friday. He was texting back and forth with a woman who has been flirting with him at work. I told him it was inappropriate and asked him to stop. Anyway, he didn't and when I left to go take a shower I came out to him talking to her on the phone. I stood there while I heard him flirting, telling her how wonderful she was. Then they started joking about me and laughing about me. I started crying and asking him to get off the phone which only made them laugh about me more. I left and ended up in a motel for the night. One of those gross one where you can't sleep on the bed and people are throwing up in the hallway.
I was humiliated and at the lowest point I can remember and went back home the next day begging him to be with me. That I was sorry for being such a sh*tty wife and I'd do anything to fix things if he put a stop to things with her.
He agreed and I spent the week being the best wife ever. Sex 2, 3 times a day plus a morning Bj. I met him at the door leaving and coming home with a kiss and a hug. I listened to him and told him he was amazing and wonderful. I rubbed his back and stayed up late just to be around him.
We planned a nice, romantic weekend for this weekend. Just cuddling and watching movies.
Then this friday he goes out with the group from work. It includes her but he told me not to worry and swore he wouldn't be alone with her and would put a stop to any flirting.
He didn't come home. He didn't pick up his phone or answer his texts. His phone eventually died. At 3pm the next day his phone turned back on (findmyiphone) and I saw that he was at another bar so I went there. I walked in and saw him sitting alone with her.
I asked her to give us a minute and she smirked at me and said "no, but feel free for you to go" I asked him to come home so we could discuss this and he said no. She was practically laughing the whole time at how pathetic I looked. He finally came outside with me and told me that if I went home, he would be there in 30 minutes.
He didn't show up for 2 hours. He eventually left again last night because I "couldn't let it go", because of how badly I embarrassed myself and him, how rude I was to her. How stupid I looked walking into that bar. How he had been with his friends all night and just happened to run into her with his friends that afternoon, that his friends left 30 minutes before I got there and I just assumed the worst. How he worked with her and how dare I make him look bad in front of his co-workers and how I had no right to tell him who he can and can't hang out with and how dare I accuse him of sleeping with her.
So he's not here. I don't know where he is. Before he left he asked if I wanted to be with him and I said yes, as long as he doesn't speak to her outside work again. He agreed.
I looked at his call history and he's been talking and texting with her all night, until 1:30 in the morning. His phone is dead now.
A lot of this I brought on myself. I neglected him, I didn't know how much it would hurt if he actually did find someone else. I gave it a last big effort and basically just made a fool out of myself because it was too late.
I am humiliated, so tired I can't even stand up straight. I haven't eaten or slept and keep having panic attacks, throwing up when I could, now there's just nothing there, and crying non-stop. I just need a little support to get me through this. He told me he's going to find a place and be out ASAP but in the meantime I don't know what to do. He told me yesterday that he would be coming back today. I'm scared I'll break down again and beg him to be with me. I'm scared of losing him and I really don't want him to go but I know that he's not going to stop things with her so there's nothing I can do.
Thanks for reading. Just getting it all out is a big relief and this is the first time I've stopped crying in days.
This is night 2 of not sleeping so I need to just get it out.
It started a week ago Friday. He was texting back and forth with a woman who has been flirting with him at work. I told him it was inappropriate and asked him to stop. Anyway, he didn't and when I left to go take a shower I came out to him talking to her on the phone. I stood there while I heard him flirting, telling her how wonderful she was. Then they started joking about me and laughing about me. I started crying and asking him to get off the phone which only made them laugh about me more. I left and ended up in a motel for the night. One of those gross one where you can't sleep on the bed and people are throwing up in the hallway.
I was humiliated and at the lowest point I can remember and went back home the next day begging him to be with me. That I was sorry for being such a sh*tty wife and I'd do anything to fix things if he put a stop to things with her.
He agreed and I spent the week being the best wife ever. Sex 2, 3 times a day plus a morning Bj. I met him at the door leaving and coming home with a kiss and a hug. I listened to him and told him he was amazing and wonderful. I rubbed his back and stayed up late just to be around him.
We planned a nice, romantic weekend for this weekend. Just cuddling and watching movies.
Then this friday he goes out with the group from work. It includes her but he told me not to worry and swore he wouldn't be alone with her and would put a stop to any flirting.
He didn't come home. He didn't pick up his phone or answer his texts. His phone eventually died. At 3pm the next day his phone turned back on (findmyiphone) and I saw that he was at another bar so I went there. I walked in and saw him sitting alone with her.
I asked her to give us a minute and she smirked at me and said "no, but feel free for you to go" I asked him to come home so we could discuss this and he said no. She was practically laughing the whole time at how pathetic I looked. He finally came outside with me and told me that if I went home, he would be there in 30 minutes.
He didn't show up for 2 hours. He eventually left again last night because I "couldn't let it go", because of how badly I embarrassed myself and him, how rude I was to her. How stupid I looked walking into that bar. How he had been with his friends all night and just happened to run into her with his friends that afternoon, that his friends left 30 minutes before I got there and I just assumed the worst. How he worked with her and how dare I make him look bad in front of his co-workers and how I had no right to tell him who he can and can't hang out with and how dare I accuse him of sleeping with her.
So he's not here. I don't know where he is. Before he left he asked if I wanted to be with him and I said yes, as long as he doesn't speak to her outside work again. He agreed.
I looked at his call history and he's been talking and texting with her all night, until 1:30 in the morning. His phone is dead now.
A lot of this I brought on myself. I neglected him, I didn't know how much it would hurt if he actually did find someone else. I gave it a last big effort and basically just made a fool out of myself because it was too late.
I am humiliated, so tired I can't even stand up straight. I haven't eaten or slept and keep having panic attacks, throwing up when I could, now there's just nothing there, and crying non-stop. I just need a little support to get me through this. He told me he's going to find a place and be out ASAP but in the meantime I don't know what to do. He told me yesterday that he would be coming back today. I'm scared I'll break down again and beg him to be with me. I'm scared of losing him and I really don't want him to go but I know that he's not going to stop things with her so there's nothing I can do.
Thanks for reading. Just getting it all out is a big relief and this is the first time I've stopped crying in days.
Put the internet to work for you.
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