It seems to me like if you've not been friends with someone long or not been in a relationship with someone long then it's normal to feel a bit insecure about the relationship - like worried that if you don't talk for awhile it will die?? The thing is I still feel this worry with people I've been friends with for yonks. That I'll say the wrong thing in a convo and we'll never talk again, or that if I don't initiate contact they'll never initiate contact with me again. Like, I know that sounds stupid written down, but I don't think it's a totally unfounded fear.
In March I met a girl I'd been friends online with for years IRL for the first time and it didn't go amazingly but not a total disaster either. But when I got home she'd blocked me on FB! Tried texting asking why and I was ghosted. Horrible. And earlier this year I lost my best friend of years , and I lost friends last year too, and I'm not talking about in the fading out of each others lives way (that's harder to quantify), but in the being told by them that I suck and removing me and blocking me on FB way.
I don't want to have to repress my opinions (my friends express plenty of opinions I don't like, but I deal with it!) or worry about how long it is since I talked to someone (it's not like I'm the one responsible for maintaining the friendship - it's a two way thing). I don't want my friendships to feel like jobs of sorts. But I'm scared that if I relax I'll lose people. People say stuff like 'someone isn't a proper friend if you don't talk for -x amount of time-' and I feel like I have to measure my friendships against those standards. :( I don't have any proper friends who both live nearby and aren't busy as **** so most of my social interaction is through FB etc with friends in other cities and even countries, so I don't feel like it's as easy to be casual in a way. :( Like, I have a long distance quasi boyfriend thing and in order for us to develop our relationship we have to see each other IRL really, but the distance means that we're forced into a kind of commitment tha t we wouldn't be if we lived close to each other if that makes sense??
Put the internet to work for you.
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