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Feel angry and depressed all of the time recently

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Recently I have become increasingly tearful and angry. Over the past 6 weeks I have probably cried 2 or 3 times a week. I have also got angry and said things in the heat of the moment and start shouting. Recently I said something to my boyfriend during an argument and now he doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not because he can't get over what I said even though I have apologised and said I didnt mean it. I knew he would take what I said very badly but somehow I got so mad during an argument I didnt care. I really regret it now though. I am really worrier about how impulsive and uncontrolled I am recently.

Worryingly I have had thoughts about self harm (I have never acted on these thoughts) and breaking something (never acted on this either). Instead I just sit in my room with my thoughts or take a bath and try to distract myself. There is nothing I enjoy at the moment and I can't be bothered to do anything.

My partner and I have had problems for a while and I am not sure if that is why I feel this way now or whether I have caused all of the problems. I am angry at myself and feel guilty for things I am doing and saying. I feel really confused.

I am also panicked about my future and scared I will never have children or get married and these are things I feel I need right now and not want to wait for.

Does anyone have any advice? :(

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