Going back nearly 20 years to when I met my wife, I recall some strange dialogs several weeks into the relationship. Both of us met at religiously-affiliated workplace and were virgins. She pulled me aside very seriously on a number of occasions and said that I must promise as a condition that I would never, ever, EVER want to have sex with her from behind ("doggy" style). I was puzzled but simply agreed.
Skipping forward many years, we avoided that position and have had a reasonably satisfying sex life. Over the past several years there has been a worsening of frequency and intensity. It's at a point now where there is only one position she likes – and usually she is half-clothed with a thick, long sweater. I've told her many times how beautiful she is (truly is – she is 39 and the same thin weight she was in college) and how much I enjoy seeing her, but any dialog like this results in a nasty fight.
I'm going back into her past and I do think there has been more to it than she admitted. I hear stuff more from her these days about being "technically a virgin" and I wonder if she had a bad experience, like perhaps one of her boyfriend's trying to convince her to try a--- sex while "preserving her virginity".
Sorry for the long backstory but is it a symptom of abuse for a woman to have a fixation like this? I don't want to flat-out ask her but I'm trying to trace why in all these years she still isn't entirely comfortable with sex and her body and especially with the worsening of things now.
Skipping forward many years, we avoided that position and have had a reasonably satisfying sex life. Over the past several years there has been a worsening of frequency and intensity. It's at a point now where there is only one position she likes – and usually she is half-clothed with a thick, long sweater. I've told her many times how beautiful she is (truly is – she is 39 and the same thin weight she was in college) and how much I enjoy seeing her, but any dialog like this results in a nasty fight.
I'm going back into her past and I do think there has been more to it than she admitted. I hear stuff more from her these days about being "technically a virgin" and I wonder if she had a bad experience, like perhaps one of her boyfriend's trying to convince her to try a--- sex while "preserving her virginity".
Sorry for the long backstory but is it a symptom of abuse for a woman to have a fixation like this? I don't want to flat-out ask her but I'm trying to trace why in all these years she still isn't entirely comfortable with sex and her body and especially with the worsening of things now.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment