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Christmas is depressing now.

This is my first ever Christmas without my parents. My first ever Christmas without celebrating it with all my brothers and sister and mom and dad and everyone's kids. It doesn't even seem like it's Christmas. I'm lonely. I don't want to be married anymore. I wish I was by myself. I know I said I was lonely...but if I was by myself I would be able to enjoy myself and my own place more. My husband decided to go to sleep at 3:00....and keeps yelling at me and my son for waking him up if we make any noise. Yet he sleeps in the living room. He won't let our son have his computer in his room, he makes him keep it downstairs, so when he's gaming and talking to his friends he's always yelling at him to shut up. I feel like I'm suffocating and I'm so depressed. I got fed up with not being able to make any noise and took the dog for a really long walk. The exercise helps. But I still have to come back to this house. His brother is still bugging me about Christmas presents and I have no desire to help. His brother is as much of an ******* as he is.

:(

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