I know I have a few threads floating around here, but this one seems to be oriented to this one subject.
Listen to the youtube link on my thread here: (and read the story if you want this to make more sense)
http://ift.tt/Wsoxjl
We have been going to three sessions with this MC now, and I felt that the emotional abuse I have been getting from my wife has not been addressed.
So I go there today to try to talk to her about it because my wife freaked out on me on Saturday.
Started off by me telling about how she flipped out me on Saturday. They both seemed to be downplaying the abuse so I completely interrupted the session by playing the recording that is at the link, without warning. (I had it saved to my phone)
The counselor looks at me stunned as it plays. She asks, "is that her?" I said, "yes".
She only listened to about 1 minute of it and then told me to turn it off.
She then turned to my wife and asked what triggered that?
I explained the story. It can be found in that thread that I linked.
The counselor then asked what triggered Saturday's events.
My wife said, "he's so negative about everything."
I interjected and said, "she put on Facebook that we were watching Orange is the new Black. After four episodes, I responded to that post and said, "C+ at best."
My wife turns to me and says, "yeah, you're always ****ing negative. That's why."
The counselor then turned to me and asked what I could do to stop triggering her.
I said, "to stop triggering her? There's no excuse for it! No one should be spoken to like that."
She said, "yeah but you have to accept some responsibility."
I said, "it should never get to that point."
She said, "yes, but there is a reason she is getting to that point."
I was livid at the counselor, and I think she could see it.
This went on for some time. My wife stating that I drive her into these rages, the counselor telling her that she cannot get to that point and needs to speak about her feelings when she feels like she is getting to that point.
I told her I was totally emotionally detached from the marriage. She asked us to hold hands, which we did. She said we get along when we are there so that means we can get along when we get home.
Anyway, it was a bunch of bull****! A bunch of confusing bull****!
What am I supposed to walk away from with this? The counselor said that this isn't going to fix itself overnight and that I need to be patient with her when she starts to call me names and distance myself from the situation.
She also said I need to stop being so critical about things that my wife likes, because that seems to be what sets her off.
I told the counselor that I believe she is STILL minimizing the abuse. I told her to please tell my wife what emotional abuse does to someone. My wife says to her, "see? he just wants you to tell me what he wants you to tell me."
I said, "no, I just do not believe she understands what she is doing to me."
The subject changed again to what "triggers" this and my negativity.
The counselor thinks the marriage can be saved because we are both calm when we are in therapy. My wife was asked if she would visit her alone for some anger management, she said yes.
Is this MC a bust? Is it me? Is it really abuse? Could so many things really be going so wrong?
I was thinking about leaving my wife and moving in with my father at the end of this week. I am not sure if I should anymore. I am not sure if I should be figuring out what is triggering my wife's behavior and give her another chance.
More background about my story if interested:
http://ift.tt/1lHTzQe
http://ift.tt/1qfQUhW
Thank you for your time! Help....
Listen to the youtube link on my thread here: (and read the story if you want this to make more sense)
http://ift.tt/Wsoxjl
We have been going to three sessions with this MC now, and I felt that the emotional abuse I have been getting from my wife has not been addressed.
So I go there today to try to talk to her about it because my wife freaked out on me on Saturday.
Started off by me telling about how she flipped out me on Saturday. They both seemed to be downplaying the abuse so I completely interrupted the session by playing the recording that is at the link, without warning. (I had it saved to my phone)
The counselor looks at me stunned as it plays. She asks, "is that her?" I said, "yes".
She only listened to about 1 minute of it and then told me to turn it off.
She then turned to my wife and asked what triggered that?
I explained the story. It can be found in that thread that I linked.
The counselor then asked what triggered Saturday's events.
My wife said, "he's so negative about everything."
I interjected and said, "she put on Facebook that we were watching Orange is the new Black. After four episodes, I responded to that post and said, "C+ at best."
My wife turns to me and says, "yeah, you're always ****ing negative. That's why."
The counselor then turned to me and asked what I could do to stop triggering her.
I said, "to stop triggering her? There's no excuse for it! No one should be spoken to like that."
She said, "yeah but you have to accept some responsibility."
I said, "it should never get to that point."
She said, "yes, but there is a reason she is getting to that point."
I was livid at the counselor, and I think she could see it.
This went on for some time. My wife stating that I drive her into these rages, the counselor telling her that she cannot get to that point and needs to speak about her feelings when she feels like she is getting to that point.
I told her I was totally emotionally detached from the marriage. She asked us to hold hands, which we did. She said we get along when we are there so that means we can get along when we get home.
Anyway, it was a bunch of bull****! A bunch of confusing bull****!
What am I supposed to walk away from with this? The counselor said that this isn't going to fix itself overnight and that I need to be patient with her when she starts to call me names and distance myself from the situation.
She also said I need to stop being so critical about things that my wife likes, because that seems to be what sets her off.
I told the counselor that I believe she is STILL minimizing the abuse. I told her to please tell my wife what emotional abuse does to someone. My wife says to her, "see? he just wants you to tell me what he wants you to tell me."
I said, "no, I just do not believe she understands what she is doing to me."
The subject changed again to what "triggers" this and my negativity.
The counselor thinks the marriage can be saved because we are both calm when we are in therapy. My wife was asked if she would visit her alone for some anger management, she said yes.
Is this MC a bust? Is it me? Is it really abuse? Could so many things really be going so wrong?
I was thinking about leaving my wife and moving in with my father at the end of this week. I am not sure if I should anymore. I am not sure if I should be figuring out what is triggering my wife's behavior and give her another chance.
More background about my story if interested:
http://ift.tt/1lHTzQe
http://ift.tt/1qfQUhW
Thank you for your time! Help....
Put the internet to work for you.
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