I'm only posting anonymously incase said person sees this or one of their friends do.
I'm 16. Living in London. I met a girl, 'Katie' in March. Long story short, I only met her because someone noticed I was depressed and invited me to join her and her friends out. The next day, I met Katie. Throughout exam periods, she was so worried and I would help her with studying and try keeping her positive. It was like a battle but I didn't give up. I've never felt anything for her, and I never did consider it. Remember, it hasn't even been 6 months yet and she attended a different school. Yet we got on like a house on fire using Whatsapp and we become great friends. This summer, we've done a little more, e.g, going cinema, looking for jobs and the other day, we did something I didn't expect. She told me we should do something, so I jokingly suggested going to my Dad's restaurant all the way in South-West London. She said yes. I couldn't believe it, but we ended up travelling to Kingston, looking around the shops and going to my Dad's. Again, nothing is going on with us , he thought so, my brother does, I reckon my mum does and I'm sure others do. We had a great day, joking around, talking, it was a long day. When we got home, she sent me a text saying 'Thanks for making me happen'.
The thing is, I'm kinda 'afraid' of any relationships, the girl I liked before? That was a crush, I honestly barely knew her but I liked her so much. It was a stupid decision but it happened. Either way, its put me off for a long long time. Katie is a muslim girl, yet she is really 'loose' and she even told me that religion isn't huge for her. But I know this is hard. When we were travelling, I noticed just how pretty she is and it really shocked me, I was really shocked. I won't lie, I have many friends, but little 'real' friends. I text her everyday, help with her problems and do m best to make her happy. For her birthday, I even got her a gift. Its crazy, when I look at it now, I realise that the things I do are not things friends do. When I got home, I was really 'happy' but when I went to sleep, I couldn't stop thinking of her. I thought it was just because I had a fun day. No harm. I also told her I want to print some pictures, she said I could and I noticed she include d one of just herself. For me? I don't know, it might just be nothing but I find that strange. All of yesterday she was also on my mind, and when I went to bed, I found myself praying to God that its nothing. I'm so scared of the idea of it, this girl is beyond amazing, she truly makes me feel happy. But I don't know whether I've just stumbled upon a great friend, or something even more. I just don't know, today, I feel sick in my stomach, and the last time I felt that? I liked someone. I'm hoping its a coincidence. I really don't know how I feel, but its making me feel sick :(
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