Background
So we work in the same office, similar work schedules both grad students, really long hours, often we're the only people in the office late or early or at weekends together, as a result we're friends, and we hang out together quite a lot.
I'm leaving the city in 3 months and moving 4 hours drive away.
She's from another country, and she's leaving to go back there in 9 months.
In December, I thought she was into me, I ran it by one of my best friends who said he had noticed she was all over me, and I decided to tell her I wanted to be more than friends. She was quite surprised, said she didn't see it coming and said she'd never seen my that way, and she hadn't realised she had been flirting. I didn't dwell on it, I've been dating other people since, with mixed success (to a degree), as has she.
Since then we've probably had a better friendship than ever, although I never really entertained the idea of anything happening between us since December, ultimately I get on with her and she's really hot!
TLDR: I told my hot friend that I liked her, she rejected me, I got over it, we stayed friends, I'm moving away in three months
Asides/context
Last month I had a potentially very serious medical emergency, which was treated successfully and now I'm all good, I was in hospital for a week and stayed with my parents for another. She texted me a fair bit but not much more than any other friends, and came to visit, but again nothing out of the ordinary.
TLDR: I was really ill, she acted like any friend would
One guy she met in a bar told her really early on (first date - coffee) that he didn't have time for a relationship and just wanted to have sex from time to time. He invited her over one night, she texted me to tell me she didn't know whether to go for it, I told her, she should do what she wanted but that I thought it was quite nice to enjoy spending time with people you sleep with, and not just in bed. She text me back saying she turned him down because she didn't want to sleep with a stranger.
TLDR: She turned down a **** buddy because she didn't know him properly
Flash forward 4 months to last Thursday and things started getting weird
Walking through town after a few glasses of wine at a conference and she decides to move the conversation to sex. Namely, when we last had it, I was honest, told her it was a year ago when I was travelling, she said its 2 years for her, which I thought was surprising as she was getting quite close to one guy she was seeing and told me she stayed the night once, so I just assumed they did.
TLDR: We both really need to get laid
She then said 'of the guys I know at work there's only two I'd sleep with', I said, 'well Tim has to be one' (Tim is a semi gym rat who is the kind of guy nearly all girls find attractive, what with being quite stacked but also really down to earth, he's a good buddy, I also know he has a thing for my friend, I have told her this when I was drunk, I actually think they'd be pretty good together and I've told her as much), she said 'yup..what girl wouldn't!' I a semi joking swoony way...'and the other', I went through, everyone else...then ended up with 'I don't ****ing know then', and said a guy who's gay, to which she replied, 'no you idiot, it's you! I said 'Well why don't we!?', 'I think we should', she said 'you're just saying that!'...I didn't get a chance to say anything because then our conversation got interupted. We spent the rest of the night with friends, so nothing happened.
TLDR: She told me on a thursday afternoon that I'm someone she'd sleep with, (But so is my friend)
Next evening we were both around a friend's house watching TV she told me she doesn't want a relationship, she wants to see someone for a few months, so she doesn't get emotionally attached and then cut it (she said she did this before and has no regrets), I told her, given that I'm moving away that's all I'm looking for too. I walked part of the way home with her as we live near to each other, but then I got some pain from the medical thing and I needed painkillers that I didn't have with me, so I had to grab a taxi and go straight to mine, we parted ways...you couldn't make this up.
TLDR: She tells me she doesn't want a relationship, I tell her I don't either, nothing happens
So basically, this is the situation up to now, I'm going to a gig with her (and other friends) tonight and then I'm going out (probably end up in a club) on Saturday and she'll be there. So if something is going to happen, its going to happen this week... My questions/doubts are these:
I still can't actually believe she's into me, could she have just changed her mind since December?
All her exes are like models compared to me, I mean, I know I have many strengths, but physical attractiveness is not one of them, she's 9/10, I'm a low 7, its all very strange for me, I usually have to put serious ground work down before a girl will have sex with me.
I'm not misreading signs am I, I mean, 'I'd sleep with you' and then telling me she wants a short term relationship isn't something you can misread is it? She already turned me down once - I really really don't want her to do it again!
I don't think this could 'ruin the friendship' because I'm leaving in a few months, might be awkward in the office, but whatever, I can deal with that, I don't really do awkwardness anyway. Any other likely downsides? I've never slept with a friend before!
What should I do now!! Currently I'm thinking I'll just hit on her when we go out on Saturday, should be pretty obvious if she'll make out with me or not, and if she does I'll take it from there, that seems like the best course of action!? n.b. Tim will also be there, a well known advocate of FWB relationships.
Put the internet to work for you.
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