Recently I was unfaithful to my wife of 10 years. I went to a conference in Las Vegas. After drinking way too much a few of us went to a strip club. I have gone to strip clubs plenty of times, a few times even with my wife, but where I am from you only get a lap dance. A dancer asked if I wanted a private dance and we went into a room behind a curtain. She touched herself and let me touch her. She started to touch me and then asked for $100 for oral sex. I gave her money and she gave me head. One of the guys I was with went with her for a private dance shortly afterwards.
When I returned home I got a call from the guy that also had a dance with her and said he was scared because he had a rash on his genitals. I also did but assumed it was from the hot tub we sat in everyday drinking. I started to freak out thinking I have an std. My friend said he would get tested and see what happens. I decided I needed to tell my wife that day. I couldn't take the chance she would touch me and get something. I went to the doctor the next day and explained what happened. She said it looks like a chemical rash and took a blood test for any std.
Until now we have had a very happy marriage. I broke her trust, her safety and her heart. I truly have great remorse. She has been my best friend for a decade and I was selfish and never thought she would know or be effected by my terrible decision. She is devastated, she cries everyday and cant be around my family.
I have been trying so hard to be there anytime she needs me. I've told her I'm sorry so many times I'm afraid it will start to sound insincere. I'm so ashamed of myself and scared about the test results that I will get I am having panic attacks. I know I deserve that but I'm trying to focus on her feelings and not my fears.
Ladies what should I do to prove I love her, regain her trust, repair our marriage and ease the hurt I have caused?
When I returned home I got a call from the guy that also had a dance with her and said he was scared because he had a rash on his genitals. I also did but assumed it was from the hot tub we sat in everyday drinking. I started to freak out thinking I have an std. My friend said he would get tested and see what happens. I decided I needed to tell my wife that day. I couldn't take the chance she would touch me and get something. I went to the doctor the next day and explained what happened. She said it looks like a chemical rash and took a blood test for any std.
Until now we have had a very happy marriage. I broke her trust, her safety and her heart. I truly have great remorse. She has been my best friend for a decade and I was selfish and never thought she would know or be effected by my terrible decision. She is devastated, she cries everyday and cant be around my family.
I have been trying so hard to be there anytime she needs me. I've told her I'm sorry so many times I'm afraid it will start to sound insincere. I'm so ashamed of myself and scared about the test results that I will get I am having panic attacks. I know I deserve that but I'm trying to focus on her feelings and not my fears.
Ladies what should I do to prove I love her, regain her trust, repair our marriage and ease the hurt I have caused?
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