I could use some advice.
I'm 36 and have been married for a little under a year now, but we've been together for almost 5 years. For quite some time now, I get the feeling she's been unhappy. She works, a lot, so I fully understand that she is exhausted and has that on her shoulders as well. But, along with her work hours, she wants more "space". Now don't get me wrong, I want her to have space, as much as I can give her, but it's not that simple. I have no vehicle, so getting about town is hard, and there really isn't much to do. I have few friends here, maybe 2, and they're not always up for going out to do stuff. Not only that, but I am also a full time (distance) student so I need to study, constantly. And I am a few months away from graduating.
I hardly see her, so when she comes home and flat asks me when I'm leaving, it's a little confusing. I mean does she not want to see me at all? Again, I want her to have space and understand her concerns, but how much is enough? I mean we haven't been intimate in almost a year.....we haven't even consumated our marriage yet!!!!
On top of that, she is having problems with anger and frustration over family issues and work issues, and all of these things I understand as well, and I will not blame her because of her feelings. It wouldn't be fair to her. But what the hell am I going to do? She's withdrawn from me, yet I always hear her laughing and carrying on with her friends on the phone, and when comes back from the conversation it's "shut down" again. It's not a nice feeling at all, it's almost as if my presence pulls her down!
I also just don't feel welcome in our apartment any more. I find myself almost nervous when she comes home. I've had an interview for a part-time job last week (there's little to no work in town here) so hopefully that will help. But I have also been feeling lately that things just aren't working, and even if she was to get counseling (which she says she will try), I am not sure if I can help close the "gap" which has opened. Soon I will hopefully be recruited into my career and might be posted somewhere else, and I find the thought to be somewhat.....well.....good. If I do, I know she will refuse to move and I will have to make the decision as to whether or not I should just move on or stay and try to repair something which may not be repairable.
I don't feel wanted, valued, respected, or even REMOTELY desired emotionally or physically. I can feel the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" sensation and it's friggen horrid. I do love her and I want the best for her, but that's exactly the feelings I get these days. Anyone ever been through something like this?
I'm 36 and have been married for a little under a year now, but we've been together for almost 5 years. For quite some time now, I get the feeling she's been unhappy. She works, a lot, so I fully understand that she is exhausted and has that on her shoulders as well. But, along with her work hours, she wants more "space". Now don't get me wrong, I want her to have space, as much as I can give her, but it's not that simple. I have no vehicle, so getting about town is hard, and there really isn't much to do. I have few friends here, maybe 2, and they're not always up for going out to do stuff. Not only that, but I am also a full time (distance) student so I need to study, constantly. And I am a few months away from graduating.
I hardly see her, so when she comes home and flat asks me when I'm leaving, it's a little confusing. I mean does she not want to see me at all? Again, I want her to have space and understand her concerns, but how much is enough? I mean we haven't been intimate in almost a year.....we haven't even consumated our marriage yet!!!!
On top of that, she is having problems with anger and frustration over family issues and work issues, and all of these things I understand as well, and I will not blame her because of her feelings. It wouldn't be fair to her. But what the hell am I going to do? She's withdrawn from me, yet I always hear her laughing and carrying on with her friends on the phone, and when comes back from the conversation it's "shut down" again. It's not a nice feeling at all, it's almost as if my presence pulls her down!
I also just don't feel welcome in our apartment any more. I find myself almost nervous when she comes home. I've had an interview for a part-time job last week (there's little to no work in town here) so hopefully that will help. But I have also been feeling lately that things just aren't working, and even if she was to get counseling (which she says she will try), I am not sure if I can help close the "gap" which has opened. Soon I will hopefully be recruited into my career and might be posted somewhere else, and I find the thought to be somewhat.....well.....good. If I do, I know she will refuse to move and I will have to make the decision as to whether or not I should just move on or stay and try to repair something which may not be repairable.
I don't feel wanted, valued, respected, or even REMOTELY desired emotionally or physically. I can feel the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" sensation and it's friggen horrid. I do love her and I want the best for her, but that's exactly the feelings I get these days. Anyone ever been through something like this?
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