My husband died a few weeks ago on our 20th anniversary after suffering a stroke at age 53. This has been unbelievably painful.
He had always told me that if something ever happened to him, he wanted me to take his personal information off his work computer and transfer it to an external hard drive and then erase it from his work computer. He was an executive so he was able to use his work computer pretty much any way he wanted.
In doing so, I found information that he had been cheating on me for the last few months of his life with "high class" prostitutes - if there is such a thing. He did this over a period of about six weeks before he died.
I'm having enough trouble coping with his death without adding in this final insult that he did the one thing he told me he could/would never do - cheat. I don't want to remember him this way. He certainly was showing signs of some rather strange personality changes over the last six months, but the whole prostitution thing is just shocking to me.
He was definitely having a hard time dealing with his age. He had a hard time when he turned 50 and each year past that he's gotten worse.
I'm probably answering my own questions here. I have no choice but to move on from this. I can't exactly question him or confront him. I just don't want to remember him this way. I want to remember the loving, caring, wonderful husband with whom I shared the last 22 years of my life.
Where did I go wrong? How do I move beyond this?
He had always told me that if something ever happened to him, he wanted me to take his personal information off his work computer and transfer it to an external hard drive and then erase it from his work computer. He was an executive so he was able to use his work computer pretty much any way he wanted.
In doing so, I found information that he had been cheating on me for the last few months of his life with "high class" prostitutes - if there is such a thing. He did this over a period of about six weeks before he died.
I'm having enough trouble coping with his death without adding in this final insult that he did the one thing he told me he could/would never do - cheat. I don't want to remember him this way. He certainly was showing signs of some rather strange personality changes over the last six months, but the whole prostitution thing is just shocking to me.
He was definitely having a hard time dealing with his age. He had a hard time when he turned 50 and each year past that he's gotten worse.
I'm probably answering my own questions here. I have no choice but to move on from this. I can't exactly question him or confront him. I just don't want to remember him this way. I want to remember the loving, caring, wonderful husband with whom I shared the last 22 years of my life.
Where did I go wrong? How do I move beyond this?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment